#i have ten thousand thoughts on this truth be told
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adwox · 1 year ago
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had to get this one out of my system
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zephyrchama · 7 months ago
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“Don’t,” you warned Lucifer. You saw that self-assured grin on his face. You knew what he was planning.
“What? I just came to see what you were doing.” He leaned on your shoulder with enough weight to tilt you several inches sideways, no matter how much you pushed back. “Don’t mind me, carry on.”
“Don’t you have more important things to do?” you retorted, but it was too late. The others were catching on.
“Hey, hey! What’s going on?” Mammon came over and pushed against your other shoulder, tilting you back upright. “What are two of my favorite people doin’?”
You tried to shrug them both off, to no avail. “We’re not doing anything. We can stop this.”
You couldn’t stop it. Asmodeus was on his way and wasted no time crossing his arms over your back, happily leaning into you from behind. You tilted forward. “Hey! What’s happening here?”
You sighed, “we’re not doing this again.”
Asmodeus teased you with honeyed innocence, “doing what, hon? Something on your mind?”
These three demons thought they were so funny.
A passing Satan made eye contact with you. In that exact moment, you used every bit of imaginary telepathy you could muster. Surely Satan would understand. He could save you. He could free you before it really was too late.
He observed what his brothers were doing, nodded, and approached with a congenial grin. Mission failed.
“Traitor!” You regretted ever agreeing to join this exchange program as Satan slowly fell back into you. You didn’t even try to catch him, you were too busy trying to remain upright under the combined weight of four demons. They were hardly even holding back.
You couldn’t see who was running up, being too busy blowing Satan’s blonde hair out of your face, but at this point it didn’t matter. They were all coming for you.
“Let me in on this!” Leviathan said cheerily.
“Yeah!” “Come on!” Asmodeus and Mammon gladly made some room for Leviathan, which was difficult because you were sinking lower and lower, and you felt another weight pile onto your back as Levi cozied up to your torso. This scenario had played out enough times now that the brothers could somehow keep you from falling over like a Jenga tower, but it was still only a matter of time.
Belphegor squeezed his way in between Satan and Lucifer and wordlessly collapsed onto you as if overcome with narcolepsy. He sure looked cozy. He smirked while you lamented, “I’m never forgiving any of you, ever.”
“Beel? Are you coming?” Lucifer summoned the cherry on top of this ridiculous parfait. You braced as Beelzebub licked the crumbs off his fingers in preparation. He knew what had to be done.
“Are you ready?” At least he had the decency to ask, unlike six other degenerates. The six lumps of dead weight each grabbed a part of your body, shifting from leans to awkward hugs. There was no way to run.
With an exaggerated “hah!”, Beelzebub’s weight and outstretched arms were enough to send everyone crashing down. You were protected from any real damage by the shell of demon brothers, but they soon had you pinned down against someone’s chest in the world’s most embarrassing cuddle pile.
“Aren’t you guys too old for this?” you asked. “By like, ten thousand years?”
“We were just checking up on you,” Lucifer said.
“Yeah, how did this happen? Hmm..!” Asmodeus’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
Satan draped his leg over yours and not-so-accidentally kicked Lucifer. “You should have told us what you were doing.”
“I think it’s fun.” Belphegor was the only one to admit the truth.
Hands were running through your hair and over your stomach. Somebody was pushing the edge of your mouth up into a smile with their finger. If these guy were so touch-starved, they could have just said so, like sane people.
“My! What do we have here?”
You groaned, partially because everybody was really heavy and partially because you really didn’t need Diavolo to arrive just then.
“My lord, it appears we have walked in on something quite interesting.” Et tu, Barbatos?
”Indeed! Is there room for two more?”
Your “no!” was drowned out by seven resounding yeses.
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smolkooks · 5 months ago
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incoming call... - kenji sato.
a/n: 2k words of one of my late night thoughts turned into a fluffy, exes to lovers fic. exes au, vet!y/n x kenji sato from ultraman: rising.
�� ˚。⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
“kenji?”
“y/n?”
you hadn’t expected to run into him here, and it seemed that he hadn’t either, from the way he was dressed. contrary to how you usually saw him on t.v. during his interviews, he was in shambles. kenji sato was dressed in a sweatset, stained with what smelled like...fish juice?...down the front. his eyes were dim, yet panicked—perhaps at seeing you, but you weren’t sure. was his hair...wet? what the fuck?
it had been more than eight years since you’d last seen him—at highschool graduation, when you’d moved to sydney for university, and he’d disappeared to the states. not that kenji sato could disappear, with how often you saw him on your t.v. screen.
“what...what are you doing here?” he stuttered, furrowing his annoyingly perfect brows. he looked exactly as you remembered, save for his current, unorganised state. just...older. better.
“well, i just got off work,” you said equally as awkwardly, gesturing at your scrubs, “um...just, heading home now.”
truth be told, this was an insanely random place to have run into him. ten minutes from your apartment block, with no shopping districts around or really any reason for him to be here at all. all that there was in your district was a river, which was nearby—so close you could still hear it from here.
“you walk?” he said incredulously, eyes fixated on your badge—dr. y/n, head veterinarian.
“uh, yeah,” you said, shifting a bit under his sharp gaze as his dark eyes shifted to meet yours. the same way he’d looked at you, all those years ago, that day. sad, but hopeful.
ken, we should...i mean, i think we should break up.
the words were as clear in your memory as day, and you forced yourself to swallow and block out those intruding thoughts.
“let me drive you,” he said quietly, after a beat, and as you opened your mouth to protest that you only lived ten minutes away, he said, “please.”
“kenji, you look really tired,” you said hesitantly, “you should head home and rest.”
“trust me,” he said with a sigh, “there’s no rest to be found in my home right now.”
you wondered what that meant. but he didn’t give you any time before he abruptly gestured down the street and wordlessly began walking you towards his car.
if you’d asked yourself twenty minutes ago, you wouldn’t have believed that you would be sitting in your highschool boyfriend’s 300-thousand-dollar porsche. and yet, here you were, buckled into the passenger seat, feeling more awkward than ever as you typed your address into his phone.
“i thought you were in sydney, to be honest,” he said, finally breaking the silence as he started the car, sweeping his hair back with his other hand.
“i moved back a year ago,” you explained as you propped his phone up on the stand he had for it, pressing start on the google maps directions, “worked in sydney for three years after grad, then got a job offer to be promoted to head vet back here in japan. couldn’t pass it up. besides, my mum’s here and i wanted to be with her.”
“you don’t live with her, though?” he said. of course, he’d noticed that your address had changed. he had spent more hours at your house than he’d probably spent at school in all six years of secondary school combined.
“yeah, i wanted my own place,” you said with a soft laugh, “i’ve got a few pets. they would drive her mad, with how loud they are.”
kenji huffed, “kids can be so damn loud.”
that caught you off guard, and you turned to him, shocked, and if not a little embarrassed. of course, kenji already had kids! he was a young, extremely wealthy man who of course would’ve married by now. you’d done well for yourself, but you knew you couldn’t compare to kenji sato.
“kids?” you couldn’t help yourself, the sharp question slipping out before you could process and revealing your surprise.
“uh—it’s complicated,” he said quickly, “wait, that sounds wrong—not that it’s complicated, just—well, she’s not really my kid—,”
“so you’re a stepdad,” you asked, confused.
“not really,” he replied, one hand running through his hair again, messing it up more, “she’s my pet, i guess. pet...lizard.”
your eyes lit up, “oh my god, i love lizards. i wish i could have one, too—maybe a gecko? but i have too many cats right now.”
“i wish i had a cat, instead,” kenji rolled his eyes, “she’s so whiney.” but there was affection tucked in his voice, and you picked up on it even without having to see his half-smile in the mirror.
“i’ll have to visit, then, to see your lizard.”
“and you, your cats,” he shot back as he parked by the curb, “you weren’t lying when you said you lived close by.”
you laughed, “why would i lie?”
he shrugged in response.
“get back safe,” you said, as you stepped out and reached to shut the door, “thank you for the ride. it was really nice to catch up.”
“yeah—well, you too,” he said, biting his lip as he seemed like he wanted to ask something else—you knew that look on his face better than anyone.
“what? spit it out,” you said jokingly, narrowing your eyes.
“oh...” he chuckled nervously, “um, can i have your number? yknow, your new one.”
you were caught off guard by him, yet again. “sure. it’s the same as it was. has yours changed?”
“yeah, actually...gotta change mine a lot, these days,” he looked really embarrassed by that, “what with the baseball stuff. i’ll call you. we need to catch up properly.”
i missed you. his eyes seemed to say, and something in your stomach fluttered at his earnest expression.
“we do,” you replied, before shutting the door, “see you, kenji.”
he waited until you’d headed upstairs before he drove off.
***
incoming call...unknown caller id.
“what the...?” you rubbed your eyes as your vibrating phone woke you up from your afternoon nap. you’d taken a fond liking to naps these days, after taking on so many emergency late night shifts at the clinic.
groggily, you picked up the phone and immediately was met with the sound of heavy breathing, which creeped you out, truth be told, and just as you were reaching to hang up on the creep, a familiar voice rasped out, “y/n, help me.”
“what the fuck? kenji?” you shot upright, panicked at his desperate tone, “what’s wrong?”
“are you free, right...now?”
“uh, well—i guess? i just got back from work, so...”
“sorry,” he said quickly, “to bother you. i’m just having trouble with my...lizard...and i didn’t know who else to ask. i can pay you—as much as you want—or—,”
“no, kenji, it’s fine,” you cut him off smoothly, “don’t be ridiculous. where are you? i did say i wanted to meet your lizard, anyway.”
***
you should’ve expected that kenji sato would live in a district as boujee as this. the buildings seemed to rise higher than your eyes could see, going all the way up into the clouds that shrouded the twilight sky. the cars here were all black and silver, with tinted, dark windows. it felt like a different world to your neighbourhood, and yours was already the nicer of the bunch.
“kenji, i think i’m here, but i don’t know how to get up,” you said into your phone, confused by all the security mechanisms and fancy technology that surrounded the large glass door before you. plus, your hands were pretty occupied—your phone squished between your cheek and shoulder, one hand holding your first aid kit—reptile-specialised—and the other your coat and bag of other equipment that you felt like you might need, if his lizard was in such bad condition that he’d called you up out of nowhere.
“give me a sec, i’m coming.”
as promised, the very man appeared moments later, looking just slightly more put together than the last time you’d seen him. at least this time, his hair was dry.
“thanks for coming,” he said hastily as he let you in, leading you to the set of elevators that awaited you, “i...i didn’t know who else to call. i really don’t know that many people here i’d want to talk to, and i’ve been really lonely lately, it’s kinda...sorry, i’m ranting, but i’m going through it and...anyway, i’m glad to see you.”
you found his ranting kind of endearing. you knew it was something he only did when he was really nervous—just like he’d always done, even when you two were just kids—and it made you feel young again, talking to him. like you were talking to your very first crush.
well, you supposed in a way, you were.
in the elevator, he was largely silent, although you could sense his stress—as if he had something to tell you but was too scared, his leg bouncing and fidgeting nonstop with the bottom of his shirt.
finally, as he went to swing open his apartment door opened, he blurted out, “don’t freak out.”
when you looked inside, you understood why.
and it was too late, because you were already freaking out. you dropped all your supplies in your shock, eyes widening and feet stumbling backwards.
“kenji, what—what is that—,”
there was a gigantic lizard before you. a gigantic one, and when you said gigantic, you meant it. it was at least...ten times bigger than you, and you’d never seen anything like that, before.
“um...emi...she’s a kaiju,” he said sheepishly, wringing his hands.
“what the—,”
“a baby!” he said quickly, “and i raised her, so she’s just a little cutie. but...you know, she’s growing up and i think she’s going through puberty or something. i don’t know! she’s just really struggling emotionally these days and i can’t figure it out. i’m her dad and i can’t figure it out and i’m not home often enough to look after her twenty-four-seven. please give me a chance. i’ll pay you—i’ll do whatever.”
“uh, kenji,” you said cautiously, leaning down to pick your stuff up, “you know that i know nothing about kaiju, right?” he leant down beside you to help you, cheeks tinted pink.
“it’s okay, can you try?”
“i can try, i guess,” you said dubiously, but you had to admit that you were at least curious. you’d never been this close to a kaiju before, and if anything, they were still animals of some sort. you wanted to see. you wanted to learn.
you didn’t really hear kenji’s blurted out thanks as you carefully crept closer to the sleeping pink creature, knocked out completely, curled up on her side. pulling out a stethoscope, you started to gently listen to her heartbeat from her wrist—the closest part of her you felt safe enough to touch, and she stirred, but didn’t wake.
it sounded normal—you guessed. for a creature as big as her, you supposed her heart rate would be really slow. especially when sleeping.
you did all your checks without her really waking, and that was ideal—you’d prefer she didn’t. as much as kenji reassured you that she was harmless, you were dubious that a creature this big wouldn’t hurt you.
“kenji,” you said, after you were done, unpacking some of your medications, “she’s growing up. she’s hitting prepubescence, you’re right. but also, she’s sick.”
“w-what do you mean? she’s—,”
“she has a cold,” you explained, and his panic deflated slightly as you gave him the largest bottle you had in your supplies, “you can give these to her. this’ll only last her today, so you’ll have to buy a shit ton of this medication, but i’ll give you a prescription and the phone of my supplier so you can get it fast. she should be okay in a week or so. but then again, she’s a kaiju, so it may take longer, depending.”
when you looked up, kenji was looking at you deeply, so earnestly and so gratefully, the bottle of pills set on the kitchen bench beside the two of you. you were closer to him than you’d been for years—even closer than that day on the car. suddenly, you were hyper aware of the way you swallowed as you met his gaze, your heart rate quickening.
“thank you, y/n,” he said quietly, “i...” he didn’t come closer, but he glanced down at his own hands before looking back up, “i really missed you, you know.”
“i missed you too, kenji,” you breathed, in disbelief a bit at the way you felt—just like you used to feel whenever he looked at you. you hoped he couldn’t hear how quick and heavily your heart was pounding ink your chest.
he broke out into a warm smile, “i’m really glad i ran into you, that night.”
***
incoming call...kenji sato.
you couldn’t help the smile that broke across your face as you reached for your buzzing phone.
“hello?”
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zepskies · 4 months ago
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Echoes
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Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 
Summary: Beau has another rough night, but you help him face a harder truth. 
AN: Yep, that’s right! I’m back with another little drabble for the Take Me Home series, set a while after S.I.N.G. This time, we’re in for some angst and comfort.
Word Count: 950 words
Tags/Warnings: Angst, PTSD, implied survivor’s guilt, hurt/comfort, fluff
Catch up on TMH: ⤵️
❤️ Take Me Home Masterlist
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He heard it before he saw it.
That was the worst part of it really. He didn’t see it coming, even when he should have.
Randy hadn’t either.
Beau just saw the aftermath—a spray of scarlet that coated a stack of wooden crates carrying tens of thousands in cocaine. He saw the look of permanent shock frozen on Randy’s face as his body dropped to the concrete. It was a heavy sound. The sound of lifelessness.
The echoes of it rang in Beau’s ears, along with the single shot of a bullet tearing through his vest.
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 Beau’s eyes opened on a sharp intake of breath.
They found darkness, and the familiar bedroom he shared with you. The only reason he could see it was because of the solitary window to his left, with slivers of moonlight filtering in between the blinds. He was lying on his back. His face, neck, arms, and bare chest were coated with a thin layer of sweat.
Turning his head to his right, he saw that you were still asleep. Your face was peaceful as you hugged your pillow. He was jealous.
Despite that, he resisted the urge to smooth a hand over your wild bedhead. He didn't want to chance waking you. Instead, he slowly got out of bed. He went into the bathroom to splash some cool water on his face. All the while, he ignored the shadows under his eyes, and the way his beard had gotten a bit scraggly. He’d trim in the morning.
He ventured into the living room and lit up the fireplace instead of turning any of the lights on. There he broke open the bottle of bourbon he kept above the fridge and grabbed a glass, and he sat in the middle of the couch, watching but not watching the fire.
His thoughts were like its flames, flickering from yellowed orange to sparking with red. Then back to yellow again.
Beau only perked up when he heard a floorboard creak. He saw you in the bedroom doorway, holding a fuzzy blanket around your shoulders. Your face was soft and concerned. He gave you a half-smile that didn’t reach his eyes as you drew near.
You were warmer than him when you sat down and wrapped your blanket around his frame from behind. He clasped your arm against his chest, and you laid your head on his shoulder.
“The same dream?” you asked. Your voice was hardly above a whisper in the quiet; the fire crackling was almost louder.
Beau paused, but he nodded. His lips raised humorlessly.
“Told you I wasn’t gonna be easy to live with,” he said, though he held your hand. “‘M sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”
You restrained a sigh and kissed his shoulder.
“Only a month in, but I think we’re doing well so far,” you said with a smile, even if it soon dipped. “You’ve been having nights like these even before you moved in.”
Again, he nodded and sipped at his glass.
“I know. I’m sorry,” he replied.
You shook your head. “It’s not your fault. But I’m going to say this again, because I love you. I really think you should try talking to someone.”
“Hey, I talk. Apparently I talk a bit too much, according to Jenny,” he managed to quip. He quirked a brow at you. “According to you too, I might add.”
You smiled in amusement, jostling him in your arms and disturbing the equilibrium of his bourbon.
“You know what I mean, Beau Arlen, and don’t pretend otherwise,” you warned him, but you paired it with a kiss to his scruffy cheek. “Therapy’s helped me a lot. I think it could do the same for you, with the right person… If you gave it a chance.”
Beau was quiet at that. Even though you understood his hesitation, it always hurt your heart to see him like this. You angled yourself toward him, so that he’d see your face and meet your eyes.
“You don’t have to do anything alone,” you said. They were words he’d told you too, more than once in the past year since you’d met him. “And I know I didn’t know Randy, but I doubt your friend would want you to suffer like this.”
Beau’s gaze fell away from yours then, drifting back to the fire. You brought him back by squeezing his free hand.
“Do you really think he’d want that for you?” you asked.
Beau couldn’t answer you in words; his throat was tight at the moment. His lips quirked, and he eventually nodded in understanding. He finished his glass before setting it down at the table. He could stop himself at the one for tonight, and that was a damn decent feat.
He leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, a silent thanks and an acknowledgement all in one. Eventually, he was able to say it in words.
“Okay. I hear you,” he said.
You nodded with a sad smile. “Good.”
You curled yourself under his arm and sighed, resting at his side. Beau leaned you both back more comfortably on the couch. He allowed himself to let out a deep breath as well.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Mhmm,” you replied, even though your eyes were already closed. He knew then that you were halfway back to sleep. His lips tugged upward.
“I love you too, you know,” he added quietly.
“Mhmmmm,” you repeated, drawing it out more.
Beau’s smile became more genuine. Later he’d carry you back to bed, blanket and all. For now though, he made some small peace with his thoughts as he stared back into the fireplace.
This time, he actually felt its warmth.
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AN: There we go, short and bittersweet. ❤️
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Ko-Fi Me ☕
Take Me Home Masterlist
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Re: my PSA on tag list spring cleaning, I had to go through and do some updates on all my tag lists, including series tag lists like this one.
Again, if you're not on this list and want to get notified every time I drop a new story, feel free to follow my side blog @zepskieswrites with notifications on. 😘
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strangersteddierthings · 1 year ago
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The Interview
Inspired by this post by @xoxoladyaz. Read on Ao3.
-
Eddie wakes up to one single missed call from Gareth on his private phone.
No one calls his private phone.
He dials back instantly.
"Hey Eddie," Gareth greets. He sounds tired.
"What's up? What's happened?" Eddie asks, a thousand and one scenarios running through his mind. Gareth is in Indianapolis, and Eddie's thoughts are filled with only his uncle back in Hawkins.
"Nothing's happened that we can't deal with, or rather, that I've already been dealing with. But, uhh, there's an interview you should watch. Let me send you a link-" there's a pause as Gareth does just that "-and just call me back after you've watched it. I know we usually ignore the shit people say about us but this- it's different."
"Okayyyy," Eddie says slowly. "I'll watch it."
They hang up without goodbye because Eddie's just going to call him back after the video. Opening his messages he sees the link, and then Gareth sent a follow up text you need to watch from 12:32 onward.
The video is nearly two weeks old already, and YouTube shows him a face he knows. Robin Buckley looks older but it's definitely her. Her hair isn't styled much differently than she had it in high school, just above her shoulders and a little wild. She's wearing a three piece suit in emerald green, slightly oversized on purpose by the look of it. She's sitting in a chair, cradling a grammy with one arm, as the interviewer sits across from her.
Eddie taps the screen and drags the progress bar closer to the 12-minute mark and listens. He hears the tail end of Robin's response to some question about her album before the interviewer asks what must be the question Gareth wants him to listen to.
'So, I think everyone is dying to know if you and Eddie Munson are friends. You're both from Hawkins, Indiana. Isn't that correct?' the interviewer asks.
Robin's smile slips a bit, 'I- uhh, this is going to be unprofessional of me but I made a promise to someone regarding if I was ever asked about Eddie Munson. So, can I have one minute to make a phone call before I answer your question?'
'Oh. By all means, make your call.'
Eddie watches as Robin is brought her phone by someone who is probably her personal assistant. She wastes no time in unlocking it and finding whoever in her contacts list.
'No time for formalities. I've been asked about Munson. Can I tell the truth?' Robin's mic isn't strong enough to pick up whatever answer she gets on the phone but she shakes her head to whatever answer she's been given. 'I told you, I love you more than this career and I've already got the grammy. I'll handle the fallout. It's not about me. It's about you.' What follows is a few seconds of silence before Robin nods and says goodbye, ending the call and passing the phone back to the PA.
The interviewer's eyebrows are up to her hairline in shock. 'That sounds ominous. You think it's career ending?'
Robin grins and it's almost feral. 'Corroded Coffin's fans have always been ruthless, and perhaps a bit heartless, so what I have to say will certainly set them on the attack. To answer your original question, yes, Eddie Munson and I are from Hawkins. We even shared band class in high school, but that's the end of what connects us. We are not friends, but we once were.'
'Can you elaborate on that?'
'Our friendship ended ten years ago when he ruined my best friend's life for fame and fortune, and Steve's never really known a day of peace since.'
Eyes wide, the interviewer leans closer, 'Steve? As in, Hey Steve, Steve?'
Robin nods, 'Just the one.'
'Are you prepared to talk about how one song ruined your friend's life?'
'That was the purpose of the phone call. Yes, I think people should know the truth. Munson vented his bullshit breakup rage into a song and fucked off out of town. A week after its release, his fans doxxed Steve. He wasn't out to his parents, you see, and Corroded Coffin's fans, Eddie Munson's fans, outed him. They sent hate mail to his house by the ton, it seemed. The fallout from that- the aftermath-' Robin cuts off as her eyes water and she swipes at them, smearing some mascara across her cheek. 'I'm sorry. I almost lost my best friend, the platonic love of my life, that day.
'It's public knowledge, what happened, you can look it up online if you know what to look for. But it is also so incredibly personal. I want to be the one to say this because it's important. What you do in life, it has consequences, and sometimes those consequences are for other people. Whether you think it will, or not. I'd rather people hear it from a human voice, from someone who loves Steve, and not the journalist view. No offense,' Robin shoots the interviewer a sweet smile.
'None taken, please continue.'
'Steve was hospitalized, I won't give the details,' Robin says, in a watery voice as she's clearly trying to not cry at the memory. 'When Steve was finally released from the hospital, there was no one but me to pick him up. And he's going through this while nursing a broken heart. He and Munson had only been broken up for maybe a month before Hey Steve came out.
'In less than two months, Steve had lost his parents, his home, all his belongings, and the man he thought he'd marry one day. And to top it off, that man gets to become rich and famous off a venomous, hate-filled song about their breakup. It talks about Steve like he's coward for not willing to be out, yet, and how... what's the line, about conformity?'
'Conformity holds your leash, baby, so run to the end of your chain and bark,' someone off camera shouts.
'Yes, that, thanks. Accusing Steve of picking 'conformity' over his love. Steve wasn't picking conformity, he was picking safety! And the worst part? The hate mail has never stopped. Steve lived with me and my family for a few months after getting out of the hospital before the hate mail got too much, and someone showed up at my childhood home, looking for him, threatening him. They had a gun. It was traumatic. I was still in my senior year of high school-' Robin cuts off, taking deep breaths.
The interviewer reaches across to place a comforting hand on Robin's, 'I can't even imagine what that must have been like.'
Once Robin has composed herself, she says, 'sorry, this is a lot. I've had ten years to come to terms with it, and I've waited seven for someone to ask me about Munson. I didn't think it would be this hard.
'And it's not- I can't blame Munson, or Corroded Coffin, for everything that happened. He doesn't control his fans. But he's never said anything about the treatment his fans give Steve. And if they're like this towards Steve, are they like this towards all his other ex's? Does Munson not care, or, almost worse, does he not even know?' she stops again, getting a faraway look for a moment before looking at the interviewer again. 'I had to help Steve move again. Just last month. They're still finding him. Sending him hate. Doxxing him.' Now she looks at the camera directly, "Eddie Munson. Call off your fans. Stop playing Hey Steve at concerts. Isn't a decade of hurt enough?'
There isn't a lot that makes Eddie feel anything these days, he'll admit. A decade of fame has made him a bit cynical and callus. However, Robin had said something that made his insides squirm. He swipes across the screen, rewinding the video to hear Robin say Steve had lost his parents, his home, all his belongings, and the man he thought he'd marry one day. Swipe. -ents, his home, all his belongings, and the man he thought he'd marry one day. Swipe. The man he thought he'd marry one day. Swipe. Marry one day.
He pauses the video. That can't be right. That has to be a lie Robin is adding. To garner more sympathy or make Eddie, and therefore Corroded Coffin, look worse. Steve and he had been young and naive when they'd dated. There was no way they'd have ended up married, even if Eddie had stuck around Hawkins longer. Gay marriage wasn't even legal when they broke up in 2013.
Eddie unpauses, skips forward to the end and listens to Robin speak directly to him. Stop playing Hey Steve? The song that rocketed Corroded Coffin into the limelight? No way. And call off his fans? Like they're dogs he's supposed to control or something. The video ends and the YouTube algorithm shows him a number of react videos. Eddie clicks on one and falls down the rabbit hole.
At first the algorithm shows him responses in his favor. Videos made by his fans defending him, or strategically picking apart what Robin had said. Eddie wants to agree with them, he doesn't think he's done anything wrong other than live his life, but then.
Then a video of a guy wearing merch sold during their tour last year plays. He's on the right side of the video while a screen recording is on the left. It takes him less than five minutes to get Steve's past addresses found. And Eddie is... well, he's a little horrified at how long the list is. At the short amount of time Steve's spent in any one place is.
The guy in the video reads out the state, city, and how long Steve lived at each address. The longest one is when Steve made the jump from Florida to Maine, where he lived for 19 months according to the video, and that was years ago.
And then the guy, he fucking starts to speculate about where Steve might have moved to next.
"We can't know for sure, but it looks like he headed back west? You can see from the last 3 addresses he's been just jumping state lines to the next place. I'm guessing Oklahoma, Kansas or Nebraska next. If Steve thinks he can try and ruin Corroded Coffin through Robin Buckley, then it's up to us to prove him wrong," the guy is saying, and Eddie thinks maybe this guy is just exaggerating but the comment section is already filled with other people saying vile shit about what they should send to Steve or what they'd like to do to him physically and-
Eddie clicks off the video, to the next recommended. The more he watches, the angrier they seem to get. He goes to the search bar and looks for new react videos.
He finds that everyone has an opinion. He watches videos where his own fans express their disappointment in him. They talk about how Corroded Coffin runs an antibully campaign and then allows their fans to bully an ex and for not calling out the ones doxxing people, wanting to know which was the reason - does Eddie not know, or does he not care? Eddie didn't know. Truly. But he can't help but wonder if he didn't know because he didn't care.
He'd written all his feelings into a song, and now that he's older, he can see that a lot of what he was feeling is an exaggeration and dramatization of what really happened. But the point is, he'd written out his feelings and moved on.
The man he thought he'd marry one day.
His stomach twists uncomfortably as Robin's voice rings in his mind.
He continues his spiral down YouTube until Gareth calling him again breaks through and he answers.
"How is this the first time I'm hearing about Robin's interview?" Eddie demands.
"You've got a damn good PR team, that's how. I guess you fell down the rabbit hole, then?"
"How'd you-"
"Is been almost 4 hours since we talked. Doesn't take that long to watch a 30 minute video."
"Oh. Alright. So, why did you want me to watch the video? Am I supposed to respond to Robin?"
"No. People don't actually want to hear from you. They want to hear from Steve. And that's why you needed to watch. 'Cause Robin's announced that Steve's finally ready to make a statement. Robin's going to post it on her Twitter. Tonight. So, we've got to be ready. If anything Robin said turns out to be true, we might have a problem on our hands. A slander lawsuit being just the beginning."
"Fuck."
"What a way to sum it up," Gareth chuckles into the phone before his tone becomes serious, "hey, how are you doing, though? With it all?"
He thinks about it, and how he really feels, before answering. "It's been years since I've thought about Steve, y'know? I... I've had that luxury. I didn't know.... Did you?"
"No. Hell no! I'd of said something. I mean, shit man, we run an antibully campaign 'cause high school was shit to us. If I'd known at all we'd have been telling them to fuck off. Harassment's just what they call bullying adults."
Eddie swallows. "Guess we just have to wait and see what Stevie has to say."
"I'd come sit on the couch with you and refresh twitter frantically but, well, Indy's a bit of a ways off. I'll call after Robin's posted, then?"
"Yeah, man. Let's see the damage," Eddie sighed. "Talk to ya later."
"Bye."
Eddie digs out his laptop and pulls up Robin's twitter page. He adds an auto-refresher extension and sets it to refresh every minute before opening his phone and pulling up YouTube again.
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discflame · 4 days ago
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Nobody has proved to my friends that the Nazis were wrong about the Jews. Nobody can. The truth or falsity of what the Nazis said, and of what my extremist friends believed, was immaterial, marvellously so. There simply was no way to reach it, no way, at least, that employed the procedures of logic and evidence. The bill-collector told me that Jews were filthy, that the home of a Jewish woman in his boyhood town was a pigsty; and the baker told me that the Jews' fascination with cleanliness was a standing affront to the "Germans," who were clean enough. What difference did the truth, if there were truth, make? I suggested from time to time, and always in a hesitant fashion, that perhaps the medieval exclusion of Jews from citizenship and landholding, their subsequent exclusion, after 1648, from guild apprenticeship, and their confinement for a thousand years to the practice of moneylending, with the attendant risk of the despicable creditor against the knightly debtor, might have required cunning of most of the Jews in most of early Europe as the condition of survival itself; that the consequent sharpening of the intellect under such circumstances would have produced a disproportionate number of unusually noble and unusually ignoble dispositions among any people, their unusualness, in the marginal occupations to which they were driven, disappearing as the great community removed the disadvantagements which produced it. I reminded the bank clerk, Kessler, that the ancestors of the Christians who now forbade Jews to be bank presidents once compelled them to be. He was a Swabian, from Wurttemberg, and the Swabians are humorous--"for Germans," as Tacitus would say. He appreciated the joke. None of my ten friends argued with me when I said these things. None of them, except the bank clerk and, of course, the teacher, listened. Everything I said, all of them might have learned long ago. But there are some things that everybody knows and nobody learns. Didn't everyone know, in America, on December 8, 1941, that the Japanese, or Japs, were a treacherous people? In the American embassy in Berlin, in 1935, an official of the German Foreign Press Office told me a story of a North Sea town where there had never been a Jew. When Goebbels announced the boycott of the Jews for the month of April, 1933, the Burgermeister of the town sent him a telegram: "Send us a Jew for our boycott."
They Thought They Were Free by Milton Mayer
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mikavlcs · 2 years ago
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Static Patterns
Pairing: Wednesday Addams x fem!reader
Summary: Wednesday’s struggling to say those three special words, so she decides to instead show you how she feels.
Warnings: soft/ooc!wednesday(!!!), reader’s kinda unserious, sorry
Word count: 1.8k
Notes: this was requested by @beauty-in-the-brkdwn​, hope you enjoy<3
Masterlist
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Never in her life had Wednesday felt more stupid than she did now.
Mere months ago, she had faced and overcome unthinkable odds, defeating an undead pilgrim and saving the entirety of Nevermore from destruction. A feat she pulled off with moderate ease.
And now here she was being bested by something as trivial as words.
It was humiliating to think about, even conceptually. That she—an aspiring writer—was struggling with words. A communicative tool she had mastered using before the age of five. This was even worse when paired with the fact that what she was struggling to say was so torturously simple.
Three words. Eight letters.
A phrase that millions were able to say in passing and yet the thought of actually saying those words to you was somehow more daunting than the Hyde and Crackstone combined.
It shouldn’t have been, she knew that. Her candor was one of her defining features, a thing of pride even. But when combined with everything they symbolize, those three syllables suddenly weighed a thousand pounds on her tongue.
She tried and failed multiple times and as bitter as defeat tasted, she had no choice but to swallow it down and rethink her strategy.
Thus, a new, different approach was taken. After all, they did say that actions spoke louder than words. One of the most fundamental rules when writing was show don’t tell. So she settled for showing you how she felt rather than vocalizing it.
It started small with something as small and insignificant as breakfast. One morning she decided to procure a bowl of your favorite cereal and another, smaller bowl of assorted fruits.
You would always whine about how they were gone by the time you got there—which was entirely your fault, seeing as you arrived nearly ten minutes after everyone else did—so she figured this was a good place to start.
The excitement on your face as you took your place next to her told her she was correct.
From there it branched out slowly, like roots growing within soil.
She would take your books from you and carry them while she escorted you to your classes—even the ones she didn’t attend with you. It made your commutes much easier since nobody dared step into Wednesday’s way while she marched through the halls.
Stealing snacks for you from the kitchen became a daily occurrence. And with a few well-executed threats, she was able to take them free of charge. They were left in your locker, Wednesday feigning surprise when you found them, but you both knew the truth.
When you mournfully showed her the C+ you got on your Botany test she demanded politely offered to tutor you.
It even got to the point where she was willing to indulge in what she would consider blasphemy—physical touch.
This specific form of affection was something she vehemently avoided, its alleged pleasures something that eluded her. But you abstained for the sake of her comfort, so she would be willing to put forth an effort for the sake of yours.
It wasn’t much, but sometimes at lunch when she was absolutely sure no one was paying attention, she would tentatively cross her pinky with yours. And when you sat across from her at the Weathervane, she lightly rested her hand over yours.
She would admit—never aloud—that it wasn’t terrible.
You noticed the abrupt shift in her behavior, of course. The first few times you let it be, curious glances in her direction your only acknowledgment of the situation.
But eventually, the questions started, and Wednesday being always prepared, had her answers ready on her tongue.
“Your complaints about these being gone every morning are tiresome, so I got them for you since you can’t be bothered to show up on time.”
“Your feeble arms looked like they were struggling more than usual. The pitiful display has gotten rather boring.”
“These grades are not reflective of your limited intellectual abilities, it’s disappointing. I’ll fix that.”
Her snark never had much effect on you, so the excuses always earned an honest, if a bit bewildered chuckle from you (though she swore she could see fear in your eyes after that last one). But you didn’t question her further.
If she were to hazard a guess, she would say that you refused to inquire about her actions because you were afraid she would stop upon confrontation. And she knew you didn’t want that.
It was clear to her that you were enjoying her efforts. You were always a more inherently joyful person than her, but she had never seen as many smiles and blushes from you as she did these past few weeks. It was a pleasant thing to witness, she supposed.
And perhaps, somewhere deep down in the dark recesses of her mind, she was enjoying it as well.
-
You were late, like usual.
The Saturday study sessions she set up were scheduled to start at 12:30, meaning that you would arrive at 12:40. Your chronic tardiness was something that was so deeply ingrained that even she couldn’t correct it. She had long since given up trying.
She instead used the extra time to her advantage.
Opposite of you, she arrived every Saturday at 12:20 on the dot, preferring to be early so she could secure her favorite booth in the back of the café. The time before you arrived was used to plan out the lessons she would cover with you and color-coordinate her notes to make sure they were easy for you to understand.
The usual medium hot chocolate you ordered was placed on your side of the table, steam rising steadily from the top, but a new addition was the croissant she decided to order alongside it on a whim. You would appreciate it, she knew, you were always hungry.
At exactly 12:40, she heard the bell on the door chime and the familiar sound of your footsteps followed. She fought against the urge to straighten up and look back at you, gluing her eyes to the notes she was organizing.
There was movement in her peripherals as you slid into her sightline, the crooked grin on your face immediately identifiable, even out of focus. “Hey.”
“Hello,” she greeted evenly, sparing you only a glance as she pushed the pastry further over in your direction. Naturally, your eyes followed the movement and lit up comically once you spotted the food.
“For me?” you asked rather redundantly, the beginnings of a smile pulling at your lips.
Wednesday gave you a blank stare. “You’re the only other person at this table.”
That stupid, stunning smile only widened. You picked the croissant up and took a bite, never breaking eye contact with her. “Thanks, Wen.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, running her eyes over the expanse of your face. Then, “Now, open your textbook to page 274.”
Your face dropped but you obeyed.
Thirty minutes were spent taking notes and going over terms. A great use of the early afternoon in Wednesday’s opinion, though she knew your feelings would differ vastly.
You were focused on working for all of ten minutes before you started sending her long, blatantly obvious glances from across the table.
At the fifth consecutive look in a row, she decided to confront you. “If you have something to say then say it.”
You didn’t seem surprised to be called out, but you still took a minute to delve into your concerns. “What…is all of this?”
She paused her writing, glanced up briefly. “I’m not sure I understand your question.”
“Yeah, sorry that was vague,” you apologized, lightly shaking your head. “I mean all of these things you’ve been doing for these past few weeks—carrying my books, getting me my favorite foods at school, helping me study, and now buying me things…I love it, really but I don’t want you to do this because you think you need to-“
“I don’t,” she interrupted. “I do nothing out of an abstract sense of obligation, you know this.”
She didn’t have to see you to know that you were smiling. “Yes, I do. I just want to make sure that you know you don’t have to do all of this if you don’t want to.”
You were giving her an out. An unnecessary one, but the thought managed to be both touching and offensive. That you would sacrifice something that you are clearly enjoying for her was…courteous.
But the fact that you could possibly that she—Wednesday Addams—was doing anything for someone else because she “felt as if she had to” was nauseating and it needed to be fixed immediately.
“I do. Want to,” she said, her normally seamless cadence stunted as she tried to phrase her thoughts in a way that wasn’t painfully embarrassing. “I’m attempting to express the depth of my…feelings toward you.”
“Feelings? And what exactly do you feel for me?” Your tone was sincere, but there was a hint of smugness in it. Like you already knew the answer to your question.
“Disdain, at the moment,” she deadpanned as her mind receded elsewhere.
If she were to stop talking now, she knew you would drop it and take the win for what it was, but, strangely, she didn’t want to stop. The repulsive desire to open up pulled at her and she couldn’t help but lament the devastating effects that these cursed feelings continued to have on her.
Wednesday accepted her fate, took a deep breath, and swallowed her pride.
“In all seriousness, I…don’t hate you,” she ground out. “At all. Quite the opposite actually. And I felt it was important to let you know that, even if it was only through small, inane gestures.”
There was a moment of silence. Then another, and another. Unable to resist, Wednesday lifted her eyes to you and found that you looked positively awestruck. Eyes wide, brows raised, and lips parted. Utterly speechless.
She drank in the admittedly rare sight.
Slowly, the astonishment abated, and a wide, unruly grin crept onto your face. She knew right then that you were about to make her regret her confession.
“Awww,” you cooed, and, to her horror, you moved forward to press a warm kiss to her cheek.
Wednesday grimaced and glanced around to make sure that there were no witnesses to your display of affection. 
Thankfully, it seemed that no one had seen or if they had, they made the smart decision to look away before she gauged their eyes out.
She turned back and glared at you with as much murderous intent as she could muster, trying to seem utterly disgusted with your behavior. But she knew the undeniable burning in her cheeks told you everything you needed to know.
Giggling, you sat back, reaching over to thread your fingers together with hers. Your smile tempered, softening around the edges until only tenderness and an emotion that she was becoming all too familiar with remained.
You leaned forward again, and this time, she was too enraptured to bother looking around.
“I love you too, Wednesday.”
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imgeekgirlfan · 4 months ago
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The Curse of Cassandra [EP : I]
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Read in Ao3 : here
Pairings:  Qimir x f!reader(SEA Reader)  [The Acolyte]
Content Rating : Mature 18+  Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warning (AT YOUR OWN RISK)
tags/themes : Alternate Universe - Dune & Star wars, Partners in Crime, Strangers to Lovers
Summary: you have always denied your own power. But fate has its own path. Sometimes it can be changed, but often it cannot be avoided. You realized this truth when you met him for the first time, as you stepped into your seventeenth year.
Status: finished writing this fic! (It will end in Episode 14)
➡  Intro // EP : 2 // EP : 3 // EP : 4 // EP : 5 // EP : 6 // EP : 7 // EP : 8 // EP : 9 // EP : 10 // EP : 11 // EP : 12 // EP : 13 // EP : 14 (Completed)
Special OS : Phantom Thread
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[Episodes 1] There is no escape—we pay for the violence of our ancestors
"We were once far greater than this," That's what your mother often told you many times when you were much younger.
For the most part, the tales from your mother's lips were no different from myths. The details were ancient and blurred by time, seeming more like delusions than truths. People never believed anything she said, dismissing her as just another mad woman with an unsound mind.
You were the only one who fully believed your mother, not just because she was your mother.
But because you saw it, just as your mother had seen, and just as all your ancestors before them had seen.
The Awakening —that's what your mother called it. It was said that one of your distant ancestors could look back into the past and see thousands of years into the future.
Mother believed this was a gift, a great inherited legacy passed down through blood, bone, and spirit, strung together for countless eons.
You thought the opposite. You saw it more as a curse.
Since the collapse in the past, your lineage has greatly weakened, and not everyone could bear the Awakening like your great ancestors. Knowing too much, even knowing what shouldn't be known, was an unnatural mechanism that directly affected both body and mind. The more one saw, the more twisted and destroyed they became.
Thus, everyone's fate was not much different. Most ended up committing suicide or being killed. A few went mad, and even fewer were scorned and despised by others as being crazy.
Fortunately, your mother was the latter.
You firmly believed this, until your mother intentionally gave you poison to drink when you were fifteen.
"Drink it," Your mother voice was harsh as she placed the glass on the wooden table in front of you. Inside was a pungent blue liquid that smelled like cinnamon mixed with some kind of medicine. She had a glass in her own hand as well, gripping it tightly as if it were precious. Her blue eyes, once as dark as ink, were now pale and vacant, not even bothering to look at you.
For a moment, just a few seconds but feeling like an eternity, as the strange smell wafted into your nose, the awakening enveloped your senses. You looked up into your mother's eyes, acutely aware of what she was about to do.
"Ten percent, Hara," your mother told you, her voice flat and emotionless. "Worth the risk."
That was the last sentence before she drank the poisoned glass in one gulp. Your mother's entire body collapsed in front of you, and never woke up again.
Outsiders judged on their own that your mother was insane, deranged to the point of trying to commit suicide along with her own daughter using some strange, untraceable poison.
And since then, you have always denied your own power.
You didn't want to be like your mother, and you didn't want to end up like others in the past.
But fate has its own path. Sometimes it can be changed, but often it cannot be avoided.
You realized this truth when you met him for the first time, as you stepped into your seventeenth year.
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Your breath comes in ragged gasps, filled with panic. Your entire body hangs suspended in mid-air, swaying back and forth as you struggle to find a way to escape. But no matter how hard you try, it is useless. The straw rope from the trap binding your ankles is too tight, and the branch of the large tree to which the rope is attached is too strong. You know well that you have no way of getting out of here unless someone comes to help.
"Say ‘please’."
You look towards the voice, seeing an upside-down image of a man leaning against that tree. He wears an old black cloak with patches of mending here and there. One hand casually twirls a short knife, its sharp tip gleaming in flashes of sunlight.
You respond by spitting at him.
Of course, your saliva doesn't reach his face, barely making it to his feet. It becomes yet another futile attempt on your part. He laughs at you mockingly, and that laughter irritates you even more. You struggle harder until you can feel the straw rope fibers cutting into the flesh of your ankles. Blood begins to trickle out bit by bit.
"You're about to cut off your own legs, you know that?"
You stop your actions when he approaches. Those black eyes still gleam with amusement as he stands watching your pitiful state for a moment, deliberately torturing you a little for your defiance, before finally deciding to help.
One of his hands swiftly cuts the rope, while his other arm wraps around your waist to prevent you from headbutting the ground. You had never known his strength until today, discovering that he could carry your body and flip you back to standing on the ground with just one arm, without his expression changing one bit. As if you were just a plank of wood, not a full-grown human.
"You shouldn't run away like this," he says, gesturing around the dense forest. Wherever one looks, there is nothing but trees and grass packed tightly everywhere. "The planet Khofar is full of dangers. Even most bounty hunters don't like coming here much."
You already knew that, and it was the main reason why you chose to hide on this wild, forested planet for the past two years.
Who would have thought you'd meet someone else crazy and brave enough to come here too?
"What's here that's more dangerous than you?" You retort without hesitation.
You have never trusted this strange man, and this isn't the first time you have tried to escape from him. But whenever you manage to find a way to run, he always tracks you down, like a game of cat and mouse.
And you are quite sure that he enjoys hunting you. The gleam in his eyes reveals as much, clear, and undisguised.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
The man smiles mischievously without flinching. His hand grips your upper arm, refusing to let go. You feel yourself shrink when standing close to him. He is as tall and large as a stone pillar, his sharp features with a slight beard giving off an atmosphere of stern seriousness. Even though there is a playful smile on his face, it does nothing to diminish his intimidating presence.
"Alright, little girl. Instead of just running away like this, don't you think it's time we sit down and have a real talk?"
He bends down, bringing his eyes level with yours. You see the scrutinizing, fault-finding look in his eyes as they survey every feature of your face, stripping you bare with his piercing gaze, trying to find the slightest sign of anything you might be hiding.
"Tell me, how does a small woman like you, who has nothing, end up becoming a wanted criminal with a bounty on her head?"
Wanted Criminal—that's what Qimir has called you since your first encounter, and it is the same reason you have been stuck with him for so long.
Someone, or perhaps many people, have decided to label you a criminal, putting a price on your head as if you were dangerous, even though you haven't done anything terrible at all.
Your only crime was being born into this lineage. That alone is enough to be branded as a danger, unworthy of living in any galaxy.
True, those events have long passed, so much so that most people have forgotten that your ancestry once existed in this universe. But there are still some groups who remember well. These are people who fear history will repeat itself, wanting to permanently erase the cursed bloodline, and those who desire to exploit the hidden power that exists only in your family line.
And when your mother chose to die early, there was no one left but you—the only bloodline of past greatness still breathing and sane. Now you are the final target being hunted relentlessly by those people.
You don't have many choices. The only way to survive safely is to keep running aimlessly, like a legless bird that never stops flying until death, trying to hide as discreetly as possible.
You have lived like this all along, never being caught once, and never revealing yourself to anyone. But even Homer sometimes nods. Eventually, failure creeps up on you unexpectedly when this strange, peculiar man appears.
Qimir is a smuggler and mercenary who takes on any job that pays well, legal or illegal. Like other bounty hunters, he seeks fortune by hunting you, but he managed to do what many others couldn't—he was the first to find you and capture you without getting his throat slit first.
You are puzzled by this man. It is strange that he doesn't just kill you but instead keeps you like a stray animal he has taken in. He doesn't imprison you but won't let you leave either. His mind is full of endless curiosity, questioning everything about you. He keeps asking you repeatedly why an ordinary girl like you has such a high bounty on your head.
Of course, you have no intention of answering him, no matter how much he persists.
"It seems everyone wants to get their hands on you. Did you know even the Jedi are looking for you?" Qimir had told you, his tone a mix of warning and intimidation. "You're not secretly some kind of Sith or something, are you?"
'Sith' is a forbidden word throughout the Empire. The name of an evil, ruthless sect that believes in absolute power and tyranny. They are the complete opposite of the Jedi, known as the guardians of virtue and keepers of peace in the universe.
Hearing this, you can't help but laugh derisively. To you, both Jedi and Sith are bizarre, extreme factions locked in an endless struggle, as if the entire universe were just black and white.
"I don't have the Force, so I can't be a Sith. And I can't be a Jedi either," you reveal, cautiously avoiding saying more than necessary. "I'm just me, nothing more."
Qimir stares at you intently, his eyes narrowing slightly and thick eyebrows furrowed. It is clear he doesn't believe what you say. If he had the Force, you think he must be trying to read your mind right now.
But even a Jedi couldn't do anything. You have learned many things from your mother's teachings, one of which is how to shield your mind. Without your permission, no one can invade your thoughts.
Qimir sighs and shakes his head slowly, eventually giving up his attempt to catch you lying. "Then you're useless," he says, and you see this as a great opportunity.
"Exactly. My mother used to say keeping a Tooka was more useful than keeping me," you say, biting your lip as your left leg throbs with pain from a deep wound. You are too tired to fight him and can't even walk properly, which only makes your words seem more plausible. "And now, with my injured leg, I'll just be a burden to you..."
Qimir glances at you again, considering the serious, solemn expression you are feigning. A slight smile tugs at his lips, nearly breaking into a laugh. He isn't fooled by your act.
"For a burden worth Nova Crystals, I'm willing to carry it," he says.
He doesn't just speak—in the blink of an eye, he wraps an arm around your waist and easily lifts your body over his shoulder, causing you to scream in surprise. Hearing the satisfied laughter from him only makes you more furious and resentful towards this man.
I must kill him and escape your resolve is firm, even though you know it won't be easy.
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belovedmusings · 8 months ago
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Take me down slow, control, and abuse me.
Choso Kamo x You x Suguru Geto
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Explicit Themes 18+ (🚫Minors DNI🚫)
Part eight of the 'Two + One' story. Click for story masterlist.
Guitarist! Choso Kamo is your boyfriend, and he just woke you up in the middle of the night after he heard you having a certain dream about his bandmate, Suguru. This is the subsequent conversation.
Relevant tags: sexual tension, thoughts of infidelity, characters with questionable morals, Choso is sweet and loyal, slow burn, no "y/n" for immersion, 2nd POV, reader has no defining characteristics, explicit smut, cowgirl, riding, nipple play (fem receiving), oral sex (male receiving), soft and tender sex, love bites, creampie
Recommended songs to listen to while reading: Use Me (PLAZA), I Wanna Be Yours (Arctic Monkeys), fue mejor (Kali Uchis, SZA)
A/N: Enjoy ;)
Read on Ao3 if you prefer!
Or read below cut:
His eyes are locked on yours. There’s no vindication—just confusion. You can’t lie to him. It hurts too much to even think about telling this precious man you love an untruth. 
“Choso,” You begin, slicing through the tension-thick air. There’s a lump already forming in your throat, and you brace yourself to lose the man you love. “I…I need to be honest with you.”
Worry instantly etches into his features. “…all right.”
“When I said I just thought he was good-looking, that…that wasn’t the entire truth. I…ever since we met him, I-I’ve been attracted to him but I-I…I love you so much, the guilt is eating me alive.”
It all comes out in a rush, the truth of your feelings, and it takes him a moment to catch up with you to process your words.
He digests the initial part first. “Ever…since we met him? You mean, at my audition?”
You nod shamefully. It’s begun–and you decide now is the best time to just get it all out. There’s no way he’s going to accept everything you’ve done, because you know you wouldn’t, but you just can’t keep hiding things from him. This is the man you love, and what is love without honesty?
After you start, it just pours out of you.
Everything that has happened. Initiating sex in the car after you left his house because he’d turned you on, listening to his voice on repeat through the band’s songs, the fantasizing, the stolen moments that happened in Suguru’s kitchen, then backstage at their concert, then three times again that same night, once at the bar, then in the car, then in your living room after Choso had been carried to bed, then two months later when you brought him back to talk after running into him at the grocery store. All of the forbidden touches, the heated words, the almost-kisses–you spill it all. He deserves to know. He’s too good of a person to be with someone as horrible as you.
By the time you finish, the two of you had sat up in bed, a bedside lamp on to illuminate the room. Sleep is lost on you both now. 
For a while, he just sits there in silence, eyes trained on the foot of the bed. It feels stuffy yet cold, and you wonder if you’ve stopped breathing at some point, waiting for his response. You’re not even sure what you expect. How can anyone possibly react to something like what you just told him?
Your heart drops through you at the first sight of a tear sliding down his cheek. He hasn’t said anything, but it’s clear that he’s hurting. 
What have you done? You were given the most precious boyfriend in the world and you’ve screwed it up by being selfish and undisciplined? 
He parts his lips, searching for the words. They only come after another beat of silence. 
“...all of that…” He begins in a gravelly voice, one you know he uses when he’s holding back his emotions, “and…all I can think about is…I’m in the way of you and him, aren’t I?”
You had no idea what you expected, but that reaction is ten-thousand times worse than anything you could’ve conjured up in your head. 
“No,” Your own voice shakes, you’re hurt because you hurt Choso, “You’re not…you’re not in the way, you’re my boyfriend. I love you.”
“But you want him,” He replies, voice strained. His eyes are still averted from you. “And he wants you. Not just a little, either.”
What argument can you make? You just have to speak from the heart. “Choso, I swear to god, I love you and Suguru hasn’t affected the way I feel about you in the slightest.”
“But I’m not your only option,” He says, monotony terribly forced as more tears stream down his cheeks. “And your other option is Suguru. The guy who is everything I am and more.”
You wonder if the crack you just felt in your heart was audible. “What?”
“He can give you the things I can…and the things I can’t.”
You need to fix this now.
“You’re the man I love,” You say, “Choso, what we have is so special, and–”
“I want what’s best for you,” Choso interrupts you, finally meeting your eyes. They’re glassy and weighted. “I just want you to be happy. He can make you happy.”
“No,” You instantly say, “No, loving you is what makes me happy. Being with you makes me happy. I don’t want to leave you, Choso. I don’t.”
“If you’re happy with me, then why…why do you want Suguru that badly?”
The full truth. What has exactly cemented itself within your soul–you need to bear it to him now. 
“Choso,” You begin, taking his hands and locked eyes with him. “I need you to believe me when I say that I have never ever second-guessed my feelings for you. I know that I am in love with you, and every single moment with you is a blessing that I will forever be grateful for. It’s just that…since I met Suguru, I’ve begun imagining what it would be like with him. Also, not instead. I want you in my life, I want you loving me, I want you to be my boyfriend now and forever, and more if that’s what comes with our future. But I…honestly, I want Suguru there too.”
Choso looks perplexed for a moment, eyes flitting between yours as he once again absorbs all of your words. “...you want him…too?”
Your next nod is earnest yet careful. “Yes. I know it’s ridiculous, selfish, and impossible, but I love and cherish you so much…and I want Suguru. I could never be without you, Chos’, and I sure as hell could never ever replace you with him. I don’t even know if Suguru and I are actually compatible and would go anywhere. Please, believe me.”
He draws in a slow breath, eyes never leaving yours. 
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this, and with me,” You add, “And I understand if you want me gone, I know even thinking that is horrible, and I am the worst person on Earth for hurting you.”
“I don’t want you gone,” He immediately says, surprising you thoroughly. 
“What? But I’m…I’m pretty sure all of this qualifies me as some sort of heartless…whore.”
He furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head vehemently. “You are not a whore. Do you go out every time I’m gone and sleep with random men you meet? Do you message more online? Do you send them pictures?”
“N-no, of course not.”
“You’re not a whore,” He says again, sighing heavily. “It’s…this is Suguru we’re talking about. Just Suguru. And this has gone on since we met him, for what…the better half of a year now? More than that? You haven’t even kissed him, let alone slept with him. You just…you just have a lot of affection to give.”
You look down at your lap. “It’s probably just physical, anyway…”
“You said you told him you wanted more, though, after he said that’s what he wants,” Choso points out. “Don’t sugarcoat it for me.”
“No, I-I mean, I’ve barely been around him. Who’s to say it isn’t just lust?” You feel like you’re backtracking, but also like maybe you’re telling the truth. You don’t know anymore. “Maybe I was just caught up in it all when he said it. We could end up not liking each other at all if we really got to know each other…”
After you trail off, no words fill the space between you two for another few moments. 
“So,” he exhales, “You want him…too. In what sense?”
“Well,” You begin unsurely. “I…don’t know.”
“Do you think if you slept with him, your curiosity would go away?”
There’s a seriousness that hangs in the air, one that you can’t help but feel is unwelcome.
“What?”
“I just…don’t see another solution to this. Because I love the band, and Suguru made it clear he wants me to stay. That means that at some point, you two are going to have to be around each other. If you…end up alone, it could mean you two just give in, and none of us want that. Suguru doesn’t want to go behind my back, you don’t want to cheat on me, and I don’t want either of you to betray me.”
“But I still don’t see how the correct solution is for me to sleep with him,” You reply rather bluntly, bewildered.
“Because then I’d know about it,” Choso explains. “I mean, listen…I don’t like the idea of the woman I love sleeping with another man, but this isn’t just some guy, it’s Suguru. I know he’s a good man. I know he respects me. So if I…allowed you to…see what he’s all about, then no one would be lying to anyone. There would be no problem.”
Your eyes narrow. Is your boyfriend seriously suggesting you sleep with Suguru?
“But…what about your feelings? I’d still be…getting intimate with another man. Wouldn’t that bother you?” You question him, running a hand through your hair. 
“It’s not bothering me as much as it should,” He admits, “Because…all this time, all those moments, and neither of you said ‘forget about him’ and did it behind my back. Yes, you two have gotten close, but you’ve stopped yourselves. So…I know you both care about me. It sounds so strange coming from me, but…I’d let you do it, love.”
All you can do is draw in a deep breath. What is he even saying? 
He’s seriously giving you the go-ahead? To sleep with Suguru?
“All I ask is…for you to agree to a few things,” Choso adds, “You’d use protection…and…don’t kiss him.”
Don’t kiss him.
A flash of Suguru’s lip rings comes to mind like the shutter of a camera, and you steel yourself. No kissing him. Something you’d fantasized about for the longest time…barred. 
But he’s letting you sleep with Suguru. 
So what if you can’t kiss him?
“Okay,” You nod, then you hear yourself, and you shake your head, “W-wait, no, Choso, I can’t do this to you. You can’t be okay with this!”
“But I am,” He insists, reaching up and touching your face. There is only a gentleness in his eyes, no hint of anger or animosity towards you in them. “I love you, and I want to give you the world. If I can give you this by simply allowing you, I will.”
“But it’s sex,” You argue, “For crying out loud, Choso, how can you be okay with this? I’d never be okay if you wanted to sleep with another woman!”
“That’s okay,” He assures you, “It is sex, and to the two of us it means something different. For me, it’s exclusive. For you, it's an expression. I don’t like sleeping with anyone I’m not in love with, but for you, it’s more about who you find attractive. I trust you. I know you’ll never leave me, you’ve made that clear. If, throughout this entire thing, you’ve fantasized about Suguru yet never resented me or started finding faults in me, wishing I was him…I know you love me.”
“I do,” is what you reply with immediately. “I love you so much, Chos’.”
“See? I trust you,” He repeats. “If you wanted to cheat you’d have done so by now.”
For a while, you just remain silent.
Is he really giving you a pass? To have sex with Suguru? Just like that?
“Will you look at me differently? And him?” You ask, searching his eyes with yours.
“You’re always going to be the woman I love,” Choso shakes his head. “And he’s always going to be Suguru.”
“What about when we’re all together? When you’re in the same room as me and him? Will you be able to take it?”
Choso consider your words for a moment before nodding. “Yes. I will. Things will probably be less tense now that it’s out in the open, don’t you think?”
“…well, possibly, yes.”
There is about a full minute of absolutely no sound in the room. You don’t know what to say. You weren’t expecting a full fight, because you know that’s not what Choso is about, but you sure as hell weren’t expecting this either. How are you supposed to react?
Choso has given you his permission to sleep with Suguru. You can actually do what you’ve been wanting to do–well, mostly–and more than anything, right now you’re just feeling…weird. 
“Chos’, I…I don’t know what to say…”
He shakes his head. “You don’t have to. We’ve talked it over and said everything we need to say.”
Well, he’s right. You’ve asked about his feelings, about his reaction, he knows the dirty details of your thoughts…and this is the end result. The boyfriend you have been in love with since before this entire mess has started still loves you even after everything you’ve considered doing, and everything you’ve done, and what’s more is that he is green-lighting even more that you never thought he’d be okay with.
Your eyes happen upon him, and you really take him in. The way his layered hair falls in messy strands around his face, the soft droop of his chocolate eyes, smeared with his trademark purple eyeliner. You follow the shape of his jaw, the curve of his Adam’s apple down to his neck, further to the collar of his shirt, where you remember he has that tattoo of your name on his heart. More than ever now, you understand that he’d gotten that done with utmost sincerity. So much emotion sweeps over you in a tidal wave–you love your boyfriend so much, and you’re sorry he’s even in this position, whether he’s okay with it or not. 
There isn’t much time between after you’ve had that thought and when you climb into his lap, kissing him in a way that you hope conveys everything you’re feeling for him at the moment. 
Choso responds eagerly, and soon layers come off, the black ink of your name etched into his breast on full display. It’s a lot of touching and grinding–you try to knead your affection into him with your hands and the way you move your hips on his, feeling him getting hard beneath you, your lips reaching any expanse of skin of his that they can reach. 
You kiss down his frame, paying special attention to the delicate part of his neck where it meets his shoulder and leaving a mark there. It’s easy to elicit noises from him, soft and breathy in nature, and you keep going, leaving a path of claims as you devour his body slowly.
Soon, you wind up between his legs, face beside his stiff length, but before you pay it any mind, you give attention to his thighs, a place you know is particularly sensitive. That’s when the sounds leaving his lips become more pronounced, abdomen rising and falling with each new mark you bite into the flesh there.
By the time you take him into your mouth, his cock is maroon-hard and weeping, the bitterness mixing with the flavor of his musk. The both of you moan at the same time, and his hands thread into your hair, gently holding it back as you suck, rising and sinking down on him over and over in the way you know drives him mad. His noises string together, strained groans and soft whimpers mixing to create a beautiful enough symphony that even that itself is music he creates. His thumbs caress your cheeks and you feel his eyes admiring you as you suck him off, a rosy blush spreading over your face.
When he’s good and soaked, and when he’s near his peak, twitching on your tongue with the threat of release, you pull off, looking up at him.
His eyebrows are drawn up, hair messily splayed across his pillow from his writhing, a crimson over the bridge of his nose. He’s panting, chest rising and falling rigidly, deep exhales painting the air.
“You’re so beautiful,” You tell him breathlessly, climbing back up his now mark-ridden body, straddling his hips with your legs. You take him into your hand and guide him towards your heat, allowing it inside as you seat yourself down.
“Oh, fuck,” He grunts, hands finding your waist instinctively. You can feel him throbbing inside of you, having been edged already, and you know it won’t take him long to reach his peak. 
He knows this, and so when you start rolling your hips, keeping him fully inside, he begins roaming his palms over your skin, doing his best to bring you to the edge as well. The two of you move in a way that can only be disguised as a sensual, intimate dance. His hands find your breasts, teasing your nipples with the pads of his thumbs, then running a palm down your front until he finds your clit. He starts rubbing it to the tempo of your movements, and little gasps leave your mouth, spurring on more impassioned grinds from you.
You look down at him, staring up at you with reverent, lidded eyes, and you know that no matter what you do with Suguru, it can never replace what you have with Choso. 
“I love you,” You murmur, leaning down and initiating a hungry kiss. 
He returns it with fervor, speaking into your wet cavern with a reciprocal, “I love you,” before chasing it down with his tongue. He starts meeting your movements with his own, intensity increasing until soon he’s moaning down your throat and cumming deep inside, your own orgasm rippling through you at the same time.
He holds you close and you don’t stop showering him with your love, intent on making sure he knows how much he means to you.
What comes next can wait until tomorrow.
__
a/n: you get to have your cake and eat it too in this universe, mmm hmm, mm hmm. now...what will happen next?
Please don't copy or repost, but feel free to reblog and share!
Taglist (comment here or my masterlist if you want to be added): @jaegerstan222 , @cosmicstarlatte , @dabisdolly , @moonriseoverkyoto , @propheticfire , @bontensbabygirl , @crlyhairedwxtch , @alittlebirdahgaselx , @okkovtsu , @notbellasstuff , @uchihabbynic , @polaroidnana , @childofilluvatar , @shadowfoxy , @jordan-network , @dreamtravelersade , @unmatchxd , @lucyrocks86 , @spineyy , @k3lbade , @xxbuckpoppi , @naughtygobbo , @slammynics , @roseambers , @luvingyouwasreallyhard , @hinachaaan , @redladyrae-blog , @spiteless-xo , @slutforaz , @bellaabee082 , @thedorklingqueen , @delayedrage , @poopwons , @pandisastergod , @username23345 , @sleazymac-n-cheesy , @forest-haven , @midnaamethyste , @bihanspookies , @mysteriouskiller1 , @liyahthings , @makingtimemine , @tr330 , @captainstarnoir , @nana-lover05 , @vvarkiki , @missmuffinr
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leclercvsx · 1 year ago
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Infertile | LH⁴⁴
Summary: In which Lewis and reader have been trying for a baby for the past year but, are unsuccessful every time so, they go to a doctor to get reader tested and the results aren’t what they had hoped for
TW: Topics such as infertility !
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Lewis has been very public about their attempts for a baby, Y/n didn’t mind too much as it was the truth. Y/n and Lewis have been in a relationship for 2 and a half years already and you both decided that now was the time that you both wanted a little bundle of joy running around.
Y/n went into the bathroom and took a pregnancy test 3 weeks after they last attempted, even though they’ve basically been attempting every day since then. Lewis was waiting patiently in their bedroom with Y/n still in the bathroom.
After ten minutes of waiting, Lewis abruptly stood up as Y/n came out of the bathroom with a dejected expression on her face as she looked at her boyfriend with a big frown on her face.
“Negative? Again?” Lewis sighed shaking his head as he opened his arms towards her. She nodded slowly, hugging his waist as he wraps his arms around her.
“What are we doing wrong?” she mumbles against his chest as she looks up at him. He sighs shaking his head as he rubbed her back slowly.
“I don’t think we’re doing anything wrong, sweetheart. I’m gonna make a doctors appointment for us and we’ll find the problem, we just have to have hope” he spoke softly, kissing the top of her head as she nodded against him.
== TIME SKIP ==
Y/n and Lewis are in one of the patient rooms at the doctors office, the Doctor had taken some tests a week or two ago and today they were finally getting the results after an excruciating long week.
The doctor walked in greeting the couple as Lewis grasped her hand in his and gently rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand.
She took a deep breath as the Doctor sat down in front of them. “Miss L/n, Mr Hamilton, we’ve got the results back from the tests we took a little bit ago and i’m afraid i’ve got some bad news..”
Y/n gripped Lewis’s hand tighter as she mentally prepared herself for what the Doctor was about to tell them. “I’m sorry to say this Miss L/n but, it seems that you are unable to conceive children of your own”
Y/n’s heart stopped for a second as she tried to grasp what he had just told them. She gives a few glances towards Lewis, who had now dropped her hand and looking at the doctor in shock.
“What do you mean exactly?” Y/n asked quietly, her voice just barely above a whisper. The doctor sighs and gives her an apologetic look.
“It means that you’re infertile, Miss L/n. Once again, i’m really sorry to have to deliver this news to you.” The doctor spoke as he excused himself after telling them that they can leave whenever. Lewis shook his hand and as the Doctor left he turned towards his girlfriend, who’s face had dropped with sorrow.
“Hey, it’s gonna be alright, we’ll work something out. I promise” he soothed, pulling her into his chest as she tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes.
“You’re not upset?” Y/n mumbled against his chest as she looked up at him through teary eyes.
“I’m upset, yes. But, there’s nothing we can do to change it unfortunately. I think we need to have a serious talk about our future now though” he replied quietly as he watched her face go pale.
She had a thousand thoughts rushing through her head “is he going to break up with me?”. She was soon ripped from her thoughts as she heard her name being called a few times.
“Y/n, sweetheart? I-” He tried to start before his girlfriend abruptly cut him off. “I’m sorry i can’t give you children, Lewis. I understand if you want to find someone who can.” She sniffles, pulling away from him a little.
“What the hell are you talking about?” He chuckled at her response. “Well, you want to break up with me now, don’t you?” His heart dropped a little at her question as he shook his head quickly.
“No, you muppet. I was going to talk to you about adoption. Although i would love to have children of my own, as long as you’re the mother to any of my children, i’ll be happy” Lewis replied, making her eyes light up a little as she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.
== ANOTHER TIME SKIP ==
It had now been two years since the couple found out that Y/n was infertile. A few weeks after the pair had found out, they applied to adopt instead. The couple went through a few rough patches with the process of adoption but eventually it all worked out in the end.
They were now the proud parents of a five year old boy called Tyler and a two year old little girl called Amelie. Even though Tyler and Amelie weren’t genetically theirs, they still cherished them like any normal parent would regardless of genes.
And they wouldn’t have it any other way.
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damiansgoodgirll · 1 year ago
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can u write abt jude defending the reader and also comforting her
jude bellingham x reader
tw : angst? not a main character death but still…
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no one can compare
dating jude bellingham took a big change on your life. you went from having 45 followers to have more than a million. you went from being no one to being someone. you went from posting normal selfies to posting professional photos that photographers took of you. you went from working underpaid jobs to work with important brand as nike and gucci.
you knew that everything you had was because of jude and you couldn’t be more grateful. he didn’t mind about you getting important deals because everything he wanted was too see you happy and so if being the face of an important brand made you happy he would tell you to go for it.
he was your number one supporter and you were his. he always reposted everytime you got a deal done and you attended every single one of his matches.
you were like the “it” couple and fans loved you.
well, not all jude’s fans.
a big part of his fan base was made of teenage girls who absolutely hated you and they wanted you to know that.
you couldn’t even post a normal picture on instagram that you would receive comments like “she’s so ugly” “why is jude dating her?” “he could have better” “she was nothing before him” “she only uses him for money”…
the thing was, it wasn’t a normal picture. you posted a picture for your best friend who passed away a few days before. you thought people would understand the situation but that didn’t stop them from saying mean things on you.
that’s how you found yourself laying on the bed and all covered in blankets, drying your tears away while you were going through the comments.
jude was in the bathroom next door and he definitely heard you sniffling. he knew about the comments, he read those comments on the pictures he posted with you and even if he asked his fans to stop the harassment it felt like they wouldn’t even care and that made him ten times angrier.
he carefully opened the bedroom door, not trying to upset you more and went to sit on the bed, in the spot right next to you.
“hey love…” he gave you a sad smile when he saw your red eyes “please…give me your phone baby” he slowly went to get the phone out of your hands and you simply let it fall.
“why are people so mean? my best friend just passed away and all these people can say is how i look fake to their eyes” you cried “i couldn’t care less about what they say about me…but saying things under my best friend’s post? where is the respect everyone is preaching?” you let yourself cry in his arms.
“i know baby…i know you’re hurting” he kissed your head while his hands went on your back.
“it’s not only that…it’s just…everything i do seems to upset them…i know they’re your fans but what have i done to them for make them hate me so much?” you sniffled a little.
“absolutely nothing baby…you’re so perfect and beautiful and they wish they were you…they wish they were here with me instead…they’re jealous and insecure so they feel the need to hurt you and make you feel like they feel about themselves” he told you “they’re jealous because i chose you, not them” he kissed your cheek “and they’re jealous because they can’t compete with you…you’re so kind and beautiful and god, i love you so much darling…no one can compare to you, i love you and only you…” he wiped your tears away and gently posed his lip over yours “you’re my everything…”
“i love you so much jude…thank you”
“you don’t have to thank me baby, it’s the truth…that’s the whole reason i chose you and not them…you’re ten thousand times better” he said and you smiled a little.
he then let you snuggle on his chest while his hands held you closer to his body, gently stroking your hair as you both ended up watching some stupid show on his laptop.
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toxicpineapple · 1 year ago
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writing tips masterpost
hello to my loyal tumblr followers... i am often asked to give writing advice but usually when people ask me this i'm nooooot completely sure what to say despite having a ton of advice to give. it's such a broad question when there are so many different things i can advise on, right? so i thought i'd make a sort of writing advice masterpost where i can compile the tips that i think people specifically in fandoms could benefit the most from hearing, OR that i wish someone had told me when i was still finding my footing as a writer.
hopefully this will be helpful to you. i am putting all of the advice under a read more since this is going to be a long one. let's roll!
✬ paragraph breaks are your friend
the fastest way to get me to stop reading a fic is if i click in and see that there are NO paragraphs made and the entire piece is in a huge block of text. no matter how good your work is, i just can't read it at that point. the giant paragraph makes me get lost, i can't focus on anything... it's a huge no.
the trick is you want your paragraphs to sort of act as a guide for your reader, taking them through the story, keeping them engaged. do not be afraid to do short paragraphs! i can understand wanting to shy away from one or two sentence paragraphs for fear of not having "enough substance" in your work, but the truth is, a thousand short paragraphs is ten times easier to read than a huge block of text.
realistically, you want to have a good amount of variety in your paragraph length. variety is key. readers will notice when your work gets formulaic, and some people will like that, but for others that can turn people away from your work. but don't force it! a paragraph should end at the end of a statement, or if the paragraph is getting too long then cut off the thought and continue in the next paragraph with a transitional phrase.
as a general rule of thumb, you want lines of dialogue by different speakers to be put in separate paragraphs. you also want to avoid doing huge chunks of narration or exposition in the same paragraph as you introduce a new speaker. just make a new paragraph! no big deal. i guarantee you your reader will be way more engaged and nobody is going to come at you for doing more rather than less.
✬ make sure the reader knows who is speaking and when
you don't have to end off every line of dialogue with "she said" and in fact i would really recommend you don't. but you ALWAYS need to have some kind of indication in the text as to who is speaking, otherwise the reader can get lost.
this doesn't necessarily mean that you always have to explicitly say who is saying what, though. if it is obvious in a scene who is saying something -- so for example, a scene where there are only two characters talking OR the dialogue has some kind of phrase, statement, etc that makes it obvious who the speaker is -- then in that case you can just let the dialogue speak for itself. sometimes in writing less can be more. you disrupt the flow of a scene if you start to exposit unnecessarily when the reader could reasonably work something out for themself.
✬ "said" is your friend too
related to the last piece of advice, here's another note: don't shy away from using the word "said".
don't overuse it, either. obviously, you don't want every single line to be "he says" "she says" back and forth, especially when they might be asking questions or shouting, in which case the word "said" probably isn't all that applicable at all. but it's a nice default. if you catch yourself busting out the thesaurus, my recommendation? quit it. just use said. it's not going to hurt you and the reader isn't going to mind.
but yeah, in the event that a character is raising their voice, whispering, inquiring -- there are tons of other words you can use in lieu of said and then an adverb. it's just context-dependent, and also, you don't really want to lean too far one way or another. like i said, variety is key. too much of the same breaks immersion.
✬ if you wouldn't say it yourself, probably don't use it in writing
another related tip. look, i get it. you want to spruce up your writing with synonyms. but the fact of the matter is that a lot of these words that "mean the same thing" on paper actually have wildly differing connotations and if you don't understand what those are you're going to look kind of silly whipping out a word you just found off the internet. we can usually tell, too.
your vocabulary will naturally grow and expand as you continue to read and learn. you don't have to try and force it to seem smarter in your writing. people who can write compelling prose and dialogue without throwing in fancy words they barely understand look a lot more intelligent than people who have a thesaurus at the ready 24/7.
✬ if there's a simpler way to say it, take it
this one can be sort of style-dependent, so if it's not your cup of tea then feel free to take or leave this tip, but in my opinion, taking a whole seven-line paragraph to describe a simple action wastes both your and the readers' time.
how many times have you read a fic where the main characters are having a conversation with these long rambling paragraphs between lines of dialogue? sometimes this makes sense! if you were writing a death note fic it would absolutely make sense for light or L to be pausing every few seconds to carefully analyse their opponent's move... but that's not always the case. sometimes characters are just making small talk.
i'm not saying you can't show off. you should show off where applicable. but there's a time and place. sometimes a scene benefits more from you taking the easy way to describe something and moving on. flowery language is great, but if you're meandering too much the reader will lose interest and attention.
✬ a metaphor is useless if nobody knows what it means
writing is subjective and highly personal. write for yourself first and foremost, and use the metaphors that feel right to you -- but the best metaphorical pieces, to me, are the ones that people can understand and identify with.
you've read a story like that, haven't you? with a reoccurring theme or motif that comes back into play at the end in a way that makes you feel so satisfied and complete? THAT'S what you aim for with literary devices like that. if you write a story that nobody can understand, with metaphors that just don't make any sense -- then you haven't really successfully told a good story, have you?
i understand wanting to have a magnum opus. i think it's easy to fall into the "misunderstood writer" mindset where you want your pieces to be so magnificent that only the likeminded will get it -- but writing is a form of communication. metaphor is just another means with which we can illustrate how we feel. you WANT your readers to understand what you're doing with the metaphors, you WANT the people who step away from your story to know what you were trying to say. you don't have to be obvious, just make it good. make it something that can be reasonably drawn from the text.
at the end of the day flowery language is just flowery language. that doesn't actually make your story good.
✬ grammar intermission
(.) period/full stop: used at the end of sentences. oftentimes not used at the end of sentences in dialogue, because lines of dialogue are considered a fragment of a larger sentence. use a period/full stop at the end of a line of dialogue if the dialogue is followed up by another complete sentence. example:
"i just went to the store," he said, scratching his head.
"i just went to the store." he scratched his head.
(,) comma: used in the middle or to separate different clauses (parts/sections) of sentences. used for incomplete clauses, AKA sections of the sentence that could not function as individual sentences. also used to indicate a slight pause. example:
she reached for the ripest banana, plucking it from the bunch.
a comma can also be replaced by a conjunction like "and" or "but". example:
she reached for the ripest banana and plucked it from the bunch.
(;) semi colon: used to separate different complete clauses in sentences, AKA sections of the sentence that are related but COULD function individually as their own sentences. example:
he sighed as he looked out the window; it had been so long since he stepped outside.
not to be confused with
(:) colon: used at the end of a line that leads into or introduces another line. example:
his fingers drummed restlessly against the window sill. it was finally happening: he was finally leaving this place.
(-) hyphen: used to connect compound words like three-years-old or hyphenated surnames like jones-smith.
(–) en dash: used to indicate ranges of time or distance, like 3–4 hours.
(—) em dash: a girl's best friend. slash j. but an em dash is used to indicate a few different things: an abrupt end to a thought or sentence, a "cut-in" where you interject something tangentially or unrelated before returning to the original thought, or a diversion in the sentence/thought. examples:
"no, listen, you don't understand—"
he scowled—an ugly look on his usually handsome features—and told her to be quiet.
it's not like she had wanted it to go that way—but when had it ever mattered what she wanted?
(()) parentheses: used to add additional context, information, or a semi-unrelated thought that would break the flow of an ongoing sentence without completely taking the reader out. example:
"no, i'm sorry. i just forgot to call you this morning," he said, looking away. (in truth, he'd sat by the phone for fifteen minutes trying to psyche himself into it, but hadn't been able to muster the courage.)
✬ show don't tell, and tell don't show
show don't tell is one of the classic pieces of writing advice that i do, often, think is correct -- but it's a little more nuanced than just never telling your readers what a character is thinking. you want the work to speak for itself without you implanting messages or themes into the reader's brain. at the same time though you don't want them to be doing too much work because it breaks immersion.
this ties into what i was saying above about simpler being better sometimes. you want to be concise especially in scenes that might call for it. a fight scene should be quick and snappy. no need to dig into the physical sensation of being enraged -- just say the character is pissed! but if a character is having a meltdown or panicking, you can get SO much more out of describing how that feels than just outright saying it.
✬ remember your perspective
another huge thing with show don't tell is that you don't want your character to be able to objectively say what everyone else is thinking and feeling -- unless that makes sense for them within the context of the story. really dig into it. DOES the character have a reason to know what their opponents, friends, etc are thinking? how well do they know the other characters? how attentive are they to the emotions of those around them?
it's better to focus on descriptions than labels in that case. say what face a character is making, describe their body language or tone. your character can have impressions, just make it clear that those ARE their impressions. and let your character be wrong! they do not have to be a completely objective source of information.
✬ when it comes to representation, if you aren't confident you can do it well, don't do it at all
i'm one of those people who's kind of of the opinion that white or cishet or otherwise systemically advantaged people have no place being the loudest voices in conversations about representation, least of all AS the representatives. if you are someone with systemic privilege and you choose to portray someone who is oppressed -- that's not necessarily a bad thing. but you need to be willing to do your research and have a sensitivity reader, and you have to be ready for people to say you did it wrong.
not much else to be said about that. your voice on the matter isn't actually all that important. there are people from the demographics involved who DO have stories to tell about themselves that will be MUCH more valuable than your perception of them, so it's honestly better to just let them tell it. that's how i feel.
✬ don't break the rules unless you know how to follow them. in other words, your rebellion should be obvious
a lot of times i see people breaking grammar or other rules and citing "stylistic" choices as their reasons why. which is all good and well, to an extent -- but you want it to be very clear that you ARE breaking the rules on purpose in a way that adds to the artistic merit of your piece.
if you don't know the rules, then it really just comes across like messy work. you both have to know how to apply the rules, and also how to break them in a stylistically significant way. if it doesn't make sense for the rules to be broken, if it says nothing... it's honestly better to just follow them. that's my take.
✬ don't be scared of names and pronouns
i said before that you want variety in your work, and that is very very true -- but it's also true that certain words like names, pronouns, etc will sort of blend into the background in writing. people don't notice them. that means if you're using a name or pronoun a lot in a scene to make it clear who exactly is being referred to...
hey. look into my eyes. breathe. it's okay. you do not have to resort to highlighting arbitrary characteristics of the characters. i know. just breathe. it's okay. use their names. they have them for a reason. it's all good.
this isn't to say that you SHOULDN'T do that, just do it when it makes sense to. if height is something the characters are noticing then use "the shorter boy". if age is relevant, eye colour, hair colour, whatever -- go ahead and use them. but don't be excessive with it. i should not be having to read the bluenette more than i'm reading shuichi's actual goddamn name.
✬ read
this is the huge one. reading other works informs your writing. it teaches you skills and tricks you can use. it helps expand your dialogue and your world view. it might even highlight to you things you do too much of in your own writing. read, all the time, whenever you can. it doesn't have to be books. it can be fanfic, articles, whatever -- just keep reading, because you will be passively absorbing knowledge during that time and it'll help you grow as a writer.
✬ practice
BOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO! SHE SAID THE THING SHE SAID IT!
but listen, it's literally just true. i write almost every day for at least a couple of hours and i have been on a trend of consistent growth for the past five years. go read my fics from 2019 if you don't believe me. i've grown fast and i've grown constantly. you just DO grow through constant practice, even if it doesn't always seem that way.
not only that, but you start to build confidence too. writing a lot helps develop those muscles to a point where you start to realise that you ARE that good and you DO have that dawg in you. or whatever. you just have to keep at it. you're not going to magically improve thinking for six months about how you want to be a better writer without practicing anything about it.
✬ yeah, betas are good
you want to have a good editor. i know that that can feel like having someone ELSE be the reason your piece is good, but that's genuinely not it. a beta reader is a second pair of eyes on your work, someone who can tell you about the issues and mistakes you're missing. they'll tell you when something doesn't make sense. they'll point out your punctuation errors. you don't NEED to have a good editor for every crummy little oneshot... but it's good to have one.
✬ numbers are fine and all but don't compare yourself to other people
i think almost everyone in some kind of creative pursuit wants to get some kind of acknowledgement for it. we want to be the best we can be, and it can be discouraging to receive utterly no validation along the way! i get it!!
just don't get caught up in crunching the numbers. you are not as good as your fanbase is. you alone know your skillset and you absolutely should not say "well this other writer got THIS much attention" because that'll just wear you down. it really will. external validation will only keep you going for so long, and you'll always end up needing more. you HAVE to build your own personal confidence first or you'll crash and burn.
✬ read your writing out loud
there is no quicker way to see if something is wonky in your prose than reading it out loud and seeing if it makes sense verbally. i highly recommend this to anybody who struggles with sentence flow. it's a good one.
✬ yippee hooray!
🥰 and that's what i've got for now. thank you if you made it this far, please take all these tips as you will, it is all subjective of course, these are just the tips that help Me the most when i sit down to write something.
please feel free to ask me for additional advice (on specific topics if you could!) at any time, i love encouraging new writers and i am passionate about writing so i will gladly offer support in any way i can, including beta reading works for anybody who might need that.
take care now 💖
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bambheez · 2 years ago
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tonight is for the two of us (l.hs)
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SUMMARY: two lonely people who find comfort in each other’s presence for one night. PAIRING: heeseung x reader GENRE: angst, smut WARNINGS: mentions of character death, grief, depression, insomnia, child and domestic abuse, alcoholism, profanity, light smut WORD COUNT: 5.8k A/N: the way this entire thing screams verbosity but that’s just my style so pls forgive me lol… obviously this is different from what I’ve posted so far in that there’s actual plot and it’s somewhat dark (so please read the long ass list of warnings before you proceed). you can also listen to the PLAYLIST for this story (I am in love with all of these songs)! as always, reblogs/comments/feedback are especially appreciated! :)
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Your clammy hands were gripping the steering wheel to the point where your dashboard lights illuminated the whites of your knuckles. As you made your way up the windy roads to the lookout point, void of any streetlamps and relying on your high beams on blast, you were silently thankful for the lack of cars trailing behind you or driving toward you in the opposite direction.
Had you done your research beforehand instead of simply plugging the address into your phone, perhaps you wouldn’t have embarked on this hour-long journey to go stargazing with your colleagues. You suggested carpooling to no avail, having to face your absurd fear of driving not only at night but also on sketchy, unfamiliar roads. 
A slight crane of your neck to the right brought you a view of the city’s skyline in the distance, a hazy glow amidst a sea of black, and you wished you could teleport back to the comfort of the bright, bustling city. The mere thought of having to drive back down this same path later had you letting out a deep groan. 
A sudden interjection of your phone’s navigation app announcing that you were arriving at your destination in 100 feet caused you to whip your head back in focus, scanning the parking lot as you approached the top of the mountain. 
Your car was the only one in the vicinity, save for a camper van with none of its lights on, looking particularly worn-down and deserted. You parked in a random empty spot, unplugging your phone from its charging port before stepping out into the brisk air. Spotting a bench near the lookout point, you took long strides up across the parking lot and up the hill, plopping down to sit and fishing your phone out of your pocket to check your notifications.
You were surprised to find an empty home screen, expecting a “sorry, we’ll be a few minutes late” in your group chat seeing as it was over ten minutes past the time you were meant to arrive. You dialed the number of the coworker who invited you and you heard her voice come onto the line after three long rings.
“Hey! What’s up?” she was nearly screaming over sounds of at least a dozen other people talking.
“What’s your ETA?” you were muttering, already having a bad feeling of what she was about to say.
“H-huh? Oh, it’s supposed to rain tonight, so we canceled! Sorry, I thought we told y–” you were tearing the phone away from the side of your face and hanging up before she could finish her sentence. 
A miserable chuckle escaped your mouth as you took note of the thick clouds hanging over the sky and brought your feet up on the bench, hugging your knees and resting your back against the wood. You weren’t sure why you expected anything else. 
You thought perhaps moving across the country to a big city would put an end to the dread of a thousand tomorrows, none of them promising any semblance of change, but the truth was you never felt more alone than when you were standing in the midst of a busy crowd surrounded by towering skyscrapers and blinding lights—a single drop in the ocean.
There was no way to describe it other than a vice on your heart, squeezing with just enough pressure to be a constant, dull ache. A black hole that threatened to swallow every part of you until all that was left was a human shaped shell, too numb to feel the pain anymore.
There were nights you unwillingly let it control you, and all you could do in those long hours was find an enclosed place to shake until the tears subsided. The vast, open darkness in front of you made you wonder just how many people were out there feeling the same way you did. 
Some old acquaintances had promised to stay in touch, yet what you heard from them was comparable to radio silence, their smiles and efforts merely pixelated and small yellow faces that stopped coming whenever your world fell apart—which was often.
Trudging to get past each day made you realize just how much of your world had revolved around one person—one last connection with a life that used to be. You couldn’t tell her when your local tea shop came out with her favorite lychee drink, when you listened to a song that reminded you of her, how you saw someone on the subway reading a book she had recommended you, or how you overheard a couple arguing over the proper way to load a dishwasher, the very thing you had repeatedly bickered about as college roommates. 
And now that she was no longer in this life, you were constantly questioning your purpose, even occasionally wondering if you were meant to be alone. Was this what the universe had planned for you? You weren’t sure you believed in multiple soulmates, so what happened when yours left you?
If you miss me, just look at the stars. She would always sign the text with a ‘;)’ at the end and you would mock her with a scoff, replying with or I could just call you, dumbass. 
Without realizing, you were already bringing up your history of text messages with her, scrolling through the endless one-sided green texts, each decorated with a delivery error message. Your fingers were hovering over the keyboard while the pulsing blue line stared back at you.
“Where are you?” you were wailing out, wincing subsequently at the unexpected echo and crack in your voice. The thundering in the distance seemed to answer you, but you wished the stars were out so that you’d at least know she was watching over you. You couldn’t help but feel that the cloudy skies meant she couldn’t see you, or worse, look out for you. A droplet landed on your cheek and your eyelids fluttered shut at the feeling. You weren’t sure if they were your tears or hers.
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It was the end of the week and you somehow found yourself making your way up the mountainous roads again, remembering coming home last time with extraordinary peace of mind despite the frazzled state you arrived in. You weren’t sure what it was, but it was pushing you to get out of the city once again. 
The air was noticeably cooler than it had been last week, and you were scanning your backseat for any signs of a sweater, sighing inwardly when you found none. It was warm when you left your office earlier in the evening and you mentally cursed at yourself for not checking the weather yet again. 
You contemplated staying in the car with the heat on, but a glimpse of your glowing fuel light had you rolling your eyes in disappointment for being so forgetful and inattentive on top of the countless other flaws you felt you carried. 
You were making your way toward the empty bench again, spotting the camper van in the same parking spot. You assumed it hadn’t moved since the last time you were here, most likely having been abandoned. There were considerably fewer clouds in the sky today and you beamed at the view of the small specks of white splattered against the darkness.
“Give me a sign that it’ll all be okay, please,” you spoke while eyeing the stars above you, some brighter than others. Your hair flew in the wind, draping across your face as goosebumps formed on your arms as you prepared to let the rest of your thoughts out. You didn’t remember closing your eyes, but the sound of footsteps approaching had you instinctively opening them and straightening your back and you suddenly felt a weight on your shoulders, gasping to find someone draping their flannel jacket over you.
“Sorry if I scared you,” he spoke against the wind. “You seemed cold.” A boy, now in a plain black shirt, was making his way around the other side of the bench to sit down next to you. He left considerable space between the two of you, which you were silently thankful for. 
You spun around to see where he had parked, not having noticed another car arrive and when you saw nothing but your own car and the camper van, you felt a chill run down your spine. Alarm bells should’ve been going off in your head, but you were seemingly more concerned with the fact that he had most likely seen you in your most vulnerable state, crying out into the open void like a lunatic, not only once, but twice now.
When he felt you staring, he turned his head only to briefly make eye contact with you before glancing back down at his lap. His skin was a pretty shade of olive, the tip of his nose illuminated by the hazy moonlight. You took in the rest of his appearance—worn sneakers with one of the laces untied, ripped jeans, and shaggy hair that covered his eyes, and you found yourself resisting the urge to run your fingers through his locks.
“Why do you keep coming here?” he was asking, picking his head up once more to look at you.
You weren’t so sure yourself. Maybe it was the fact that this was the only place where you didn’t have to pretend. You didn’t know if you wanted to talk to her, to yourself, or to the universe in general; you didn’t know if you wanted to scream or cry or sit in complete silence. All you knew was that after a particularly bad day at work, you were taking the exit off the highway without thinking, almost as if you had taken this same exit a hundred times before.
“I could ask you the same,” you chuckled. There was an awkward pause, and you were realizing that he wasn’t going to answer you.
“I’m here to u-uh, stargaze.” You were telling the truth, at least partially. 
“Stargazing’s not the best here, with the light pollution and all,” he replied. You hummed, unsure how to respond. He noticed your hesitation and was rubbing his palms against the black denim of his jeans before clearing his throat. 
“‘m Heeseung, by the way.” At first, Heeseung found himself slightly annoyed at the fact that you had disrupted his peace and not-so-secret hideout spot, observing you from his van while you mumbled to yourself on the bench. 
“I travel in my van, but ‘m running low on money.” He was rubbing the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed to admit the fact. “The parking here’s free, so…” he trailed off, regretting it immediately after stating the obvious. 
As he got a better look at your face up close, he saw that a small frown seemed semi-permanently etched on your face, which he could tell you were hopelessly attempting to correct as he studied you. A wave of guilt washed over him upon registration of his untimely intrusion, realizing that you would probably prefer to be alone right now due to the blatant evidence that you were pretending to look less dejected in front of him. 
You were briefly introducing yourself as someone new to the city, not knowing what else was interesting about you and accidentally slipping in the fact that you ‘didn’t really have any friends’, teeth chattering slightly even with his jacket resting over your frame. 
“Did you want to sit in my van instead?” Your frown was faltering when your lips parted in surprise at his request. He contemplated adding a lighthearted comment about not being a serial killer to reassure you, but you were already trailing behind him as he stood up. You could tell he was tall when his legs were stretched out next to yours while sat next on the bench, but he was even taller than you’d imagined when he was standing up, even with a slight hunch in his posture. 
Heeseung peered over his shoulder to catch you struggling to keep up with his longer strides, still clutching onto the collar of his jacket over your right shoulder and he let a soft smile adorn his face as he slowed his pace to match yours. He was rounding the front of his van to open the passenger side door for you but you were already cutting in front of him, hopping up on the door sill clumsily.
You let yourself into the passenger side, holding the jacket out to Heeseung who was still staring at you through the driver side window. He opened the door and pulled himself into the seat, reluctantly taking the jacket from you and tossing it on some unknown surface of the van behind him. 
He turned on the ceiling light of his van and began blasting the heat after noticing that you were sitting on the backs of your hands. His fingers were fiddling with the knobs on the CD player to turn on soft, lullaby-like piano music and you made a poor attempt at stifling a laugh. For some reason, you expected him to be into rock music and found the unexpected contrast endearing. 
Heeseung shot you a confused look at the sound and you simply shook your head and waved it off, a small smile still playing on your lips. You couldn’t put your finger on what it was, but you felt a strange sense of comfort in his presence.
For the first time that night, you were taking a closer look at his features. Underneath his bangs were eyes that carried both fervor and innocence and lips that were held in a constant, soft pout. He was chewing on his bottom lip, eyes darting around the space in front of him at the feeling of you staring at him so intently. He shook his head so that his bangs were falling over his eyes again in one swift movement before thinking of something to say to take your attention off his face.
“I dropped out of college when I was 18,” he was muttering, trying to gauge your reaction from his peripheral view before continuing. “And then I ran away from home to travel.” He was leaving out key details like the fact that he didn’t necessarily run away from home with the goal of traveling but instead began traveling because he simply had nowhere else to go. 
When he came home after his first semester with an official diagnosis from his university’s health center, his family refused to let him seek therapy or any other form of help. With a father who was never home and a mother who went as far as threatening to disown him if he didn’t return to school the following semester, Heeseung wasn’t left with much of a choice. 
You were surprised that he was even sharing this much with you. Your heart tightened at the thought of him being alone in the world at such a young age and his lack of a support system, seemingly more alone than you were. He was considerably better than you at concealing his loneliness and you hated that fact, not because you wanted to be better at it but because you knew just how much effort it took. 
Heeseung could barely remember what it was like to have his father around, the only seemingly harmonious moments spent with him before he started grade school fleeting and long forgotten. The bulk of his adolescence was spent resenting his father for the way he treated his mother, where his father would appear through the front door every few months or so in one of his drunken episodes, an empty bottle of liquor already in hand.
He almost always knew when it was happening, the rummaging through the cabinets and refrigerator for alcohol reverberating through the house and to his room. He couldn’t understand why his mother wouldn’t stop restocking the house with it or why she wouldn’t change the locks or take his father’s keys or even file for a divorce, and he couldn’t help but despise her weakness and inability to stop pitying her husband.
“Look who decided to finally show up for his mother,” the older man seethed, breath reeking from the drunken stench.
A particularly loud argument had Heeseung flying down the stairs, the sound of a glass bottle breaking causing his mother to let a scream out of her mouth. He took in his father’s appearance, unshaven and eyes bloodshot with a lazy smirk playing on his lips. A look off to the side at his mother with tears streaming down her cheeks was suddenly leading to punches being thrown and knuckles growing bloodied. A harsh shove from his father caused him to lose his balance and tumble onto the wooden floor.
“Maybe ask yourself why you’re defending a fucking cheater instead,” his voice boomed through the living room. A puzzled expression took over Heeseung’s face as he turned toward his mother who winced both at the sound of her husband slamming the door as he left and the way her son ran his tongue over his busted lip, eyes beginning to gloss over.
After finally grasping the fact that his mother was not the person she made herself out to be and what pushed his father over the edge over ten years ago, Heeseung, who had always stuck close to her growing up, attempting to make up for the lack of his father’s presence, began growing increasingly distant from her as he finished his final years of high school. The very thing he swore he wouldn’t touch in his life was the only thing he took with him and stashed in his van the night he left.
He was wrapping his hand around the nearly empty beer can in his cup holder from the thought of his childhood memories and shooting a pained expression your way at the paled look on your face, eyes pooling with concern and he tried to perceive it as anything but pity.
“I honestly don’t mind it much,” he was saying, but an unfamiliar look was flashing across his eyes and even though you barely knew him, you felt like you could see right through him.
He was redirecting his gaze out the windshield. He had used the North Star almost as a source of direction in his travels for the past few years, as cliche as it sounded. Tonight was the first night it was visible in the two weeks he had been parked here, deciding to camp out in the deserted park until it reappeared and he had saved enough money from his part-time job in the city. 
The North Star appeared noticeably brighter tonight, a beacon in the middle of the night shrouded in shadows and Heeseung was suddenly wondering whether it was a coincidence that you were here with him at this very moment, whether you were the very person who hung the North Star for him in the night sky, guiding him toward a purposeful destination, or whether you were the destination itself. He was shaking his head at the intrusive thought as you followed his line of sight.
The heat blowing throughout the van was fogging up the windows and blocking up your view of what he seemed to be focusing his gaze on. Heeseung watched as you turned in your seat, moving your body to face the passenger window with one leg folded up on the cushion. You were bringing your fingers up to touch the glass, slowly drawing a heart with your index finger and peering through the clear traces at the sky.
Heeseung, nowhere near intoxicated from his built up tolerance over the years, took one last sip of his drink, still not taking his eyes away from your side profile and subtle movements as you immersed yourself in your own world for the second time that night. He was turning to his own window to mirror your actions, outlining a much sloppier heart on the glass. By the time he finished and spun around to face you, you were already watching him with a beam, the apples of your cheeks rosy. 
You were suddenly bursting into laughter, your brain on autopilot as you leaned over the center console to fix his drawing. You were practically pushed up against him with your hand resting on his thigh as you drew over his sketch on the window, adding a dozen more hearts around the first and filling up the rest of the fogged glass with your doodles. Heeseung was noticeably stiffening under you, attempting to distract himself from his quickening heart rate by picking at the fraying of his jeans on the leg you weren’t perched on.
You leaned back to admire your silly artwork for a few seconds before glancing over at him and noticing Heeseung’s eyelashes fluttering delicately, still reeling from the sudden physical contact. Upon noticing the close proximity, you were removing your hand from his lap and bringing it back into your own, leaning into the seat again and you could feel the heat evident on your face, knowing it must’ve been even more apparent to him. He was no better at concealing his own expressions as his sheepish smile faltered, feeling abnormally disappointed in the sudden loss of contact.
Still in a daze, Heeseung was reaching behind him to grab a can of beer, holding it out in front of you while his eyes were trained on the single heart drawn on the passenger side window. He held back a grimace as he realized that he’d done so without thinking, hoping you hadn’t caught on to his dependency. You accepted his offer without hesitation, wiping the rim of the opening with the bottom of your shirt and popping open the tab, taking gulps at a much faster speed than you were normally used to.
Your head was still spinning with the thought and feeling of the burn of your fingertips against his thigh. You both drifted into a comfortable silence, the music no longer playing since the CD player in his rundown van didn’t have the ability to auto loop tracks or albums and the hammering of his heart against his chest seemed almost too loud for you not to notice. Heeseung thought about taking out the disk and replacing it but decided against it, not wanting to disrupt the stillness of the air around you. 
Your lips formed a small frown as you saw clouds beginning to shape. You thought it was the alcohol deceiving you, but you blinked a few times and the clouds were still there. 
“I hate the rain because it means I can’t see her. It makes me think that she’s crying,” you suddenly whispered, breaking the silence. You could feel his gaze fall to you as he fell out of his trance, but he didn’t ask who, just simply nodded. 
His reaction made you freeze in your spot, realizing you had most definitely overshared beyond an imaginary boundary. You almost wanted to apologize for it before you were saying the next thing that came to your mind. 
“Have you ever fallen in love?” you were abruptly blurting out.
He was quirking his brow in amusement. “Come on, I can barely fall asleep,” he laughed softly but not without a somewhat pained expression behind his eyes. You had assumed it was a joke, but the sincerity in the way he observed you told you it wasn’t. Your eyes widened before you were nodding softly and returning a weak smile, taken aback by his confession.
“Don’t worry about it,” he was brushing it off. “You?”
You were staring out the windshield again for a few moments, lost in your thoughts before responding, “A lot of unrequited love, if that counts.”
You began to explain how you had never been in a relationship, not because you didn’t want to, but because it was seemingly out of your control. You presumed that the time you spent on this earth loving romantically without any reciprocation had somehow altered your brain chemistry to truly believe that you were meant to be alone from the very beginning, and you were often wondering which would hurt more, to have had true love and lost it or to never have had it at all. Dwelling over the fact that you had already experienced some form of both made your situation seem all the more ridiculous.
It didn’t go unnoticed by him the way you were flighty in your thoughts, jumping to one without finishing the other. As a result of the accumulation of thoughts you created when you were alone, all the things you would talk to yourself about came spilling out. 
Your mind went on talking even when you were alone. And when you ran out of storage, the thoughts needed to come out somehow. Partly due to your insecurities you hoped that by talking more, you’d be accepted and loved by someone—it hadn’t proved itself to be a successful method in the past and you weren’t sure it ever would be.
“I give, and give, and give. That’s all I do,” you continued, your voice now uneven and trembling slightly. “I give until I have nothing left. I’m terrified of the love I have because I know it will ruin me—it already has, and I know I will continue to let it.”
You were heaving out a sigh of relief at the massive weight being lifted off your chest, still feeling a sort of emptiness but a strangely pleasant lightness associated with it. Even then, you were perplexed by your own eagerness to share your entire life story to someone you met just hours ago, partially blaming the alcohol for how unfiltered you became and you couldn’t tell what Heeseung was thinking from the stoic look on his face and his big doe eyes blinking back at you.
It most definitely wasn’t a feeling of pity, that he knew. It felt almost like a weakness in the heart—like his heart wasn’t working properly—a fleeting lightness that passed through him, being simultaneously lulled to sleep by a single gesture and set on fire by your every touch. 
Your eyes were glossed over, from your lengthy outpour or intoxicated state Heeseung wasn’t certain, but he held not a single ounce of doubt of the amount of love you held. Unsure of what came over him, he was resisting the urge to lean over and cup the sides of your face and tell you that even in his broken, wretched state, he was willing to accept anything you had to give and return everything and more.
“It’s really late. I can drive you home,” he was offering. He convinced you he was sobering up with a lazy smile plastered on his face, yet you couldn’t help raising your brows at the slight flush of his cheeks and numerous empty beer cans in the cup holder.
“I think I’d rather stay here,” you were speaking nonchalantly before turning to look at him with what Heeseung thought he saw were literal stars in your otherwise cloudy eyes. At the implication of your words, he could feel and hear his heart beating at a pace so fast it rang through his ears. As much of an open book as you were, he didn’t expect that from you and you even stunned yourself as the words left you, mouth now agape as you stared back at him. 
You wanted to blame your lack of sobriety yet again but you knew that the flood of emotions had put your mind in a remarkable state of clarity. His calmness—how he listened and watched attentively without any questions, just simply looking at you with a fondness in his eyes—fastened you with a sense of immense trust in him.
Thankfully, he was quickly nodding and turning around to turn on the lights that lit up the rest of his van. In contrast to his somewhat rugged appearance, his space was neat and cozy and it amazed you how few belongings he had; everything fit in his van and there was almost no clutter. The only hint of personality and life you could find was the guitar hanging over the bed, and you were smiling to yourself knowing he at least had music to accompany him. 
Heeseung had suggested cooking some ramen for you, but you simply shook your head with a sleepy smile and told him you weren’t hungry. He didn’t say anything as he clambered on top of his sheets and patted the spot next to him. There wasn’t much space in the van for anything other than a bed and a small stovetop and you were skeptical there would be enough room for you to both lay comfortably. 
You fit yourself on the mattress between him and the back door while he crawled under the covers, pushing his pillow toward you behind your back and grabbing an extra one from beneath the bed for himself. You were still sat leaning against the side of the van as you contemplated your next move, wondering whether you should prioritize comfort or decency and you squirmed at the thought of your dirty jeans on someone else’s sheets.
A brief glance at Heeseung, who was lying on his back with his eyes closed and hands resting over his stomach, had you quickly tucking yourself under the blankets and unzipping your jeans, pulling them down and kicking them over your ankles. You were shuffling downward and placing the now folded jeans beside your pillow, facing away from Heeseung as you pulled the covers up to your chest.
You couldn’t tell but Heeseung had visibly stiffened, eyebrows now slightly furrowed in concentration as he attempted to fall asleep, willing himself to think about anything other than you and your presence inches away from him. He was staring at the ceiling, breath uneven at how you were so similar in the way you craved connection yet different in the sources of your troubles and the way you coped—one capable of giving anything and one who didn’t know how to give at all. 
You felt the bed dip and you could hear Heeseung shuffling around behind you, his heavy breathing against your neck telling you he was now facing you, and still lying on your side when you felt his fingers graze across your hip bone. 
The heat radiating off his body behind you was seeping into your own skin, slowly building into a burn before you were flipping yourself over to face him and immediately thrown off by just how close he was. A slight lean forward from either of you would close the gap, and your eyes were unconsciously flickering down to his lips at the thought.
You were pulling yourself flush against him, savoring the feeling of your bodies pressed so closely together, resting your head in the crook of his neck and he let out a sharp gasp from above you. You could feel his heart beating underneath your palms as you moved your hands across the expanse of his chest. A slight crane of your neck and you were tentatively placing your lips against his jaw, a shaky breath of Heeseung’s fanning your face from the action.
As your kisses moved from his jaw down to his neck, his mouth was parting softly, lifting his head into the pillow to provide you with more access. One particularly harsh suck against his collarbone had him surging forward for more, latching onto the hem of your shirt and fingers hesitantly grazing the waistband of your underwear. 
Heeseung was then leaning forward onto his elbows, the hand that was previously slotted between your bodies wrapping around your shoulder to pull you up and level to him, bringing you into a gentle kiss that caused the hairs on your arms to raise.
It overwhelmed you how thrilling yet calming it felt to be kissing him. You were completely drinking him in, the touch of his skin against yours heating up the pits of your stomach and causing shivers to wrack through you and simultaneously taking your mind off of everything else.
He was gentle with his touch, but his lips were rough and chapped and he was kissing you with so much longing and desperation that for a second, you contemplated whether this was his first time kissing someone, craving any and every bit of physical contact. You quickly dismissed the thought as he took advantage of your inattentiveness with a swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip, your lips parting slightly, allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth skillfully.
Your stomach churned and you were writhing under his touch from the way your tongues intertwined, a pit of heat rising in your lower stomach. Heeseung was letting out a choked whimper at the feeling of your hands reaching underneath his shirt, smoothing over the skin of his stomach. 
“You okay?” you were whispering as you pulled back, hands coming up to cup his cheeks. He held your gaze for a few seconds, both delicacy and sharpness etched in his features, before his lashes fluttered and he was shaking his head, burying it in your neck. Your hands were sliding along his scalp to soothingly stroke his hair, heart aching at the vulnerability and rawness with which he looked at you. 
It wasn’t clear whether the cause of his feverish state was from the simple presence of you in his arms, but something told you that you should’ve seen it coming when the way he looked at you gradually began changing as the hours progressed.
You were pulling back and placing one last, soft kiss against his lips, lingering for a few moments too long before wrapping your arms around his torso in a tight embrace and rubbing his back gingerly. 
Heeseung was redirecting his attention out at the sky through the back window, foolishly looking for you and him in the stars. Some stars gradually dim and lose their luster, and on a rainy night, you might never see them again. 
You weren’t thinking about what would happen when the stars faded and the sun rose, or when you would see him again—you didn’t need to see him or be physically near him to feel him. Your subconscious was finding comfort simply from the feeling of his chest pressed against yours, your thumb rubbing circles over his shirt while you listened to Heeseung's soft breathing and the sound of the rain beginning to fall against the windows.
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A/N: the bolded quote is based on something I saw on twitter: “I’m scared of the love I have for you. Because I know it will ruin me. And I also know that I will let it. I love hard.” but I couldn’t find the source, so credits to the original owner.
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outsideratheart · 1 year ago
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I’ll be in the stands (Stina Blackstenius x reader)
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A/N: This is set in the same universe as Very Important Person. Based off this request. I’m not sure how I feel about this one but I hope you all like it.
Wimbledon. It was the most iconic two weeks of the year. After Australia you had been playing the best tennis of your career so it made sense that you were one of the favourites going into the tournament. 
“Stina, I’m leaving” you shout up to your girlfriend. 
After supporting you in Paris, Stina invited you to join her on a friends trip then she travelled to London to support you before going to New Zealand for the World Cup. She had attended Roland Garros with your parents who unfortunately couldn’t make it to London which left two spare tickets. You gave them to your girlfriend who chose to bring Frido and Magda. 
“Good luck. I’ll see you on centre court” she shouted back down, no doubt still picking out what to wear. 
The Swedish Women had really enjoyed embracing the fashion at Wimbledon and spent most mornings working out who is going to wear what. Today would be their last game before leaving for camp in New Zealand. You had your fourth round game to play and then if you win you would be playing your quarter game whilst they were in the air. 
Dressed in white you walked onto the legendary centre court ready to fight for a spot in the next round. You had done your research on your opponent and knew how she would play and more importantly how to beat her. It’s why it comes as no surprise that you win the first set 6-2 and the second set 6-3.
As you thank the crowd your look lingers on the row that hold the three blondes with one of them capturing your attention more than the other two. You bring the S pendant on your necklace to your lips. After she gave you it for Valentine’s Day you never took it off and would kiss it after every match you played.
“Do you think she will win?” Frido asks.
“I do”
Stina had more faith in you that you did in yourself and whilst you loved her for it, it also added to the pressure because you didn’t want to let her down. The mental strength needed to be a tennis player was hard to explain to people outside the sport. Stina had watched you lose matches, not because your opponent out played you, because you lost your head a gave point after point away. 
The next morning the atmosphere in the house was full of sorrow. The girls were leaving and you wouldn’t see Stina for almost a month. It wasn’t the first time you’d be spending weeks apart but you had gotten used to her company over the past couple of weeks and hated the thought of being away from her.
“Don’t go” you whisper.
You and Stina stood on the doorstep, your arms wrapped tightly around her waist.
“Hjärtat I have to go”
Truth is you weren’t asking her to stay but you do wish her flight could be delayed a day or two.
“I love you, I have faith in you and I love you”
“You already said that” 
“Because I meant it. Good luck for your match, I’ll be watching on the plane”
You found little solace in knowing that Stina would still be supporting you from thousands of miles in the air. As her car drove away you felt emptier than you did just ten minutes ago but you knew that it was time for her to go, she too had a tournament to win.
Stina was a nervous wreck watching your match on the plane. You had won the first set on tie-break and she could tell that you wasn’t happy with your performance. The way you looked over to your box with a lost look on your face told everyone that you didn’t understand why the set went on this long. The second set was long but also ended in tie-break but this time you had lost. You sat in your area with a towel over your head as you tried desperately to gather your emotions. The fans at Wimbledon were known for cheering on the underdog and with you currently being number 2 and your opponent unseeded the entire arena was cheering her on instead of you.
You lost the final set 6-4. 
“She’s going to be ok right?” Frido wound down the window dividing her and Stina’s booth.
“I don’t know” Stina was already sending you a reassuring text “I hope so”
You felt like you let everyone down. Stina’s message brought a momentary smile to your face but then you remember the reason why she sent it and the smile was replaced with a frown.
The Swedish national team had landed in New Zealand 26 hours after your match ended and Stina’s phone remained glued in her hand but she still hadn’t heard anything from you. She tried calling for the 5th time but like every time before that she was met with your voicemail.
“Is she still not picking up?” Magda asked. 
“She does this sometimes. After a big loss she goes dark but she always texts me before doing so to let me know she’s alright”
At first she wasn’t worried but then her phone went off. She rushed to answer it not bothering to look at the caller ID. She assumed it would be you so imagine her surprise when you manager’s voice comes through the phone. She told Stina that you asked her to cancel all media for the next week and since then she couldn’t get a hold of you and she didn’t know where you were.
The team were given the next two days off in hopes that they could get over their jet lag before training starts. Most of the girls had organised to meet up and explore the city but Stina declined their invite.
She was watching Notting Hill on her iPad remembering how you took her there your first day in London before the tournament started. Her favourite scene had just started when heard a knock at the door.
There you stood with some flowers and half a smile on your face. She was just about to talk when you heard the movie playing in the background.
“The fame thing isn’t really real, you know?” And don’t forget i’m also just a girl standing in front of a girl asking her to love me”
You knew the entire movie word for word. It was your comfort film and since meeting you, it had become Stina’s too. Once your finished she flung her arms around you.
“Careful Älskling, someone might think you’ve missed me” 
She was happy to see you joking around but you had her worried sick since the end of the match and now here you are in New Zealand acting as if nothing had happened.
“Where have you been? We have all been really worried about you”
“I’m sorry I didn’t text. I knew I had let you down and I wasn’t ready to face you yet” 
Your joking expression vanished and the look of guilt took its place. 
Stina walked back into her room and laid on the bed.
“Come here” she held her arms open wide.
You laid between her legs with your head resting on her chest. She began tracing patterns on your back and for the first time in days your thoughts became quiet and your mind was calm.
“You could never let me down Y/N. I have learnt that Tennis can be a cruel sport and this week it chose you as one of its victims”
“Hmmm”
“Shall I put this back to the beginning?” She asks referring to the film even though she knew you wouldn’t see much of it. You were bound to be both physically and mentally exhausted. 
The blonde felt your heart beat even out just as Hugh Grant spills coffee over Julia Roberts. When she looks down your eyes are closed. She couldn’t believe you were here with her in New Zealand. She wasn’t sure how long you would be staying for so she chose to savour the moment playing out in front of her. 
A couple of hours pass and whilst Stina’s whole body was starting to go numb, you looked too peaceful to wake so she put on another film secretly hoping that you would wake up soon because she was starting to get hungry. Just as she was strolling through nearby restaurants the door swings open.
“Stina, Y/N’s here” Frido tells her but stops talking when she sees you fast asleep in her team mates arms or so that what she thought.
“We were at this coffee shop down the road and two girls were talking about how they had just met her” Zecira says not noticing you as she goes into the bathroom.
“Shhhh. She’s asleep” Stina scolds her team mates.
“No she’s not” you slowly sat up but not before placing a gentle kiss to your girlfriends lips.
You saw 4 Swedish woman looking at you and the awkward tension could be cut with a knife. All of them had watched the game and then saw the way Stina had been worried about you.
“Sorry you lost” Fillipa says earning a slap from Magda.
“Thanks but at least now I get to watch you girls play for the next month”
“You’re staying for the whole thing? You’re not going to play?” She was both happy that you were staying but also worried about you taking such a long break away from Tennis.
“I am. As for tennis, I think I need to take some time off but I can practice here when I’m ready because the courts are similar to New York”
Stina couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The two of you just looked at each other, waiting for the other to speak. 
“So you Y/N Y/L/N are going to be a WAG?” 
“Yes, Stina Blackstenius I am going to be a WAG. I will wear my highlighter shirt to every game and cheer you on”
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laurentidal · 3 months ago
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Intentions
"I know what you're up to, you know."
Cal turned and saw Mrs. Reynolds in the doorway. She'd come to visit her daughter, who had recently moved in with him. They hadn't met before yesterday morning when she'd arrived. They'd exchanged pleasantries, and the three of them had spent what he'd thought was a very nice weekend together. Ginny had just gone to bed and he was about to join her.
"I'm sorry?" he asked confused.
"This has been fun, but why don't you take a seat, Cal. I think it's time we put aside the game and speak plainly."
Having genuinely no idea what she was talking about, he agreed to sit.
"How long have you been working on this plan of yours?"
"Mrs. Reynolds I really am not sure what you're referring to."
"Oh please call me Joy. No reason to stand on ceremony now and even less reason to lie. We both know what you're really after, and I have to tell you that my daughter's inheritance is far from her grasp. I don't plan on shucking off this mortal coil anytime soon. It will be a long, long wait for you. Are you sure you're committed to the long haul?"
"I'm sorry. What inheritance, exactly?"
Joy raised an eyebrow. "The Reynolds Estate," she said simply. "When I die, Joy will be worth well over three hundred million dollars."
"WHAT?"
"Keep your voice down for God's sake. We've kept the truth from her so that she could live a normal life, but our competitors and our adversaries have always had eyes for her. People like you, Mr. Forman. It's my job to see that she'd protected."
She lifted a gold chain from between her breasts and at the end was a long sapphire teardrop.
"This is one of my more recent purchases. I've only had it about a year; hardly any sentimental value. Monetary value, however… It could be sold for nearly ten thousand dollars. It's yours if you admit to your deception and vow to give up the game."
The pendant spun gently on it's chain, catching the rays of the setting sun. It was beautiful and tempting. But Ginny was beautiful, too. And a gem would never love him the way she did.
"Consider your next move carefully, Cal. You can see this gem is worth a lot. You can see the perfection in its cut. You can see the richness of the color. Think long and hard about what your future is worth to you. Focus. Listen to my words. I'm giving you a wonderful opportunity."
Cal's eyes did indeed stay fixed on the crystal. He cursed himself in his own mind for even considering wealth over Ginny. But it was a lot of money. And the crystal was so pretty. The way it sparkled. The way it glimmered. The way…
"… it catches the light. You've been staring quietly so long it seems to me you've made up your mind, haven't you Cal. You want the gem. You can't think of anything else. It has captured you."
"Captured me…," Cal muttered weakly.
"Good. Now that your defenses are down, you will finally be honest with me. You must tell the truth, Cal."
"Yes, Mrs. Reynolds."
"Why did you pursue my daughter?"
"I think she's beautiful and fun." His voice seemed so far away, even to him. Words just tumbled out, unformed by his crystalized mind. "I love her."
"Nonsense. I told you you cannot lie. You must obey me, Cal."
"I obey, Mrs. Reynolds."
"Who are your parents, boy?"
"Stacy Forman and Gregory Forman, Mrs. Reynolds."
She paused. "You aren't related to John and Josephine Forman?"
"No, Mrs. Reynolds. I don't know anyone by those names."
Joy burst out laughing, causing the gem to wobble on it's chain. It's hold over Cal began to weaken. By the time she'd regained her composure, Cal was almost completely conscious again. He simply sat there, stunned by her revelation and her attempt to buy him off; and even more shocked by her success in entrancing him. He was almost too afraid to breath, remaining just as still as he had when he was under.
"What a fun turn of events. Of all the last names you could have had… Well in that case, Cal. I think I approve. You do seem like a lovely young man, now that I know you're not an interloper. I do have one condition, however."
She pulled off her dress, allowing her bare breasts to come into clear view.
"Ginny was making quite the assortment of sounds last night. I think you should give me the same treatment. After all, I'm going to make you very rich some day."
"Yes, Mrs. Reynolds," he answered, trying will all his might to pretend that she was still in control so that she would continue.
Thanks for reading! If you are a fan of my work, consider buying me a coffee. Any contribution is insanely appreciated. 💖
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skyloftian-nutcase · 2 months ago
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Whumptober Day 8 - Sleep Deprivation/Forced to Stay Awake
Y'all know with a prompt like this I had to write my baby Sky. I decided to have fun with Skyward Sword and the Imprisoned's design/encounter. :3
X
To say Link was exhausted was an understatement. However, he was far from stopping now. He had failed to rescue Zelda when she’d been captured, and he’d refused to fall behind since then. While he’d successfully defended her and Impa from Ghirahim at the Temple of Time, it had felt like a hollow victory – he’d finally caught up to Zelda just to lose her again.
But he’d been given a mission: he could reunite with her if he opened the Gate of Time. And opened it he had.
In the end, it had been for nothing. One quest after another, one task after another, one test after another. And the end result was to watch Zelda encase herself in an amber prison for thousands of years, with her only hope of escape through his success.
He couldn’t make her wait a second longer. How many millennia had she been in there? Could she hear him? Could she tell anything was happening? Or did all her focus go to maintain in the seal, heart heavy with sorrow and guilt over a truth Link could hardly fathom?
He just wanted his friend back.
He hadn’t stopped since the Earth Temple. At best, he’d paused after Zelda’s imprisonment – a time where he literally couldn’t move forward, not for a few hours at least, as his body finally took advantage of his weakened resolved and made him violently ill for the rest of the day. But the next morning, he was up before Groose or the old lady, and he was off to strengthen himself and prepare himself further so he could eliminate the demon king once and for all and save Zelda.
As time had passed, his resolve had remained, but his patience had thinned. His best option was usually to stay quiet, but sometimes snappish remarks came out unbidden, nearly downright callous in his fatigue. The amount of people he almost hadn’t helped was… somewhat alarming, in the back of his mind. Link could be a troublemaker sometimes, but he’d never been cruel or apathetic, and some days he felt nearly both as his journey progressed.
He’d take it out on the demon king. He’d take it out on Demise, on his imprisoned form, that cursed abomination that changed shape every new time it tried to break through the seal Zelda was suffering to maintain.
Link stood at the edge of Skyloft, staring off into the clouds with nearly no thoughts in his head. He’d been called an airhead, even lazy, plenty of times – perhaps that was the case. Perhaps this was more laziness from him, more wasted time he couldn’t afford to have, but the way his mind was so blank, the way it took all his energy just to stand almost made him wonder if he should… no.
No. He would not take a break. He couldn’t afford to. In his more desperate moment, while he was ill, he’d told himself that Zelda was simply asleep, that he had all the time in the world now. But then the anxieties quickly returned, the thoughts that kept him awake at night questioning is she actually still awake in there? Has she been suffering and waiting painstakingly for me for ten thousand years? And then he couldn’t sleep, he had to get up and move, he had to make his way back to Skyloft and figure out how in the world he was supposed to find the Triforce and finally end this.
He’d found Levias quickly. He’d fought off the parasite quickly. And then he’d been tasked with yet another quest, another hurdle preventing him from completing his mission.
He wanted to scream. Instead, he restocked his supplies at the bazaar, and now he found himself just… staring.
Move, he tried to urge himself, but his feet wouldn’t listen. His loftwing circled below him, waiting for him to jump, gliding along the winds and calling to him, urging him. Yet he felt like he could pass for a sword spirit himself, made entirely of metal, weighed down with an immeasurable weight.
He was so tired.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten a full night’s sleep. Or even naps during the day to compensate, at least not more than the few minutes he’d nod off at any moment’s notice before getting back on track.
How did Hylia think he was worthy of this task? He didn’t know. But he didn’t care – this wasn’t about Hylia, this was about his friend.
But aren’t they one in the same? He didn’t know. He didn’t know. It didn’t matter. He would save Zelda. But he had to move.
Move. Move, dammit!
His mind was blank, but it screamed at the same time. He belittled himself but couldn’t motivate himself to just jump. The daunting magnitude of his task sat heavier and heavier on his shoulders the longer he stood there.
He had a headache. His stomach rolled with emptiness, an illness born from lack of appetite. His body trembled, and he swore he could see lights in the sky that weren’t the portals.
Fi chimed. She was saying something, but whatever it was, it sounded so distant over the wind. He hardly heard it.
“Master.”
He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard her voice so loudly. Either way, it made him finally snap out of his daze, head turning sharply to see her hovering just to his right. Despite being expressionless, something in the way she carried herself looked different to Link, a strange tension in her usually limber and fluid body.
“Master Link. Now that I have your attention, I must again emphasize that there is a 78% chance furthering your journey in your current state could lead to serious damage. You must return to your place of residence to acquire proper rest and nutrition in order to continue,” she explained.
Link blinked. “What?”
Fi was silent a moment, and then repeated, “There is an 81% chance that furthering your journey in this state—”
“You changed the percentage,” Link grumbled, waving his hand. “I don’t care about the probability. I’m 100% going now.”
“Master Link—”
Spite and anger fueled him all of a sudden, finally giving him the impetus he needed to jump, and Fi quickly returned to the sword, though he swore he could hear a heavy sigh. Had she ever sighed?
Usually, the crashing winds of skydiving would bring Link into focus more than nearly anything. Today it felt like slaps to the face, anger flushing his cheeks red hot as he let himself nearly fall into the cloud barrier before calling his loftwing, who came immediately.
His exhaustion seemed to be nearly left behind on Skyloft, and he leapt off his loftwing when they hovered over Faron’s region. He wasn’t really looking forward to explaining anything to Groose, so he hoped he could bypass the Sealed Temple altogether and just find the dragons to get this over with.
Maybe Fi is right, his mind whispered, a nagging, irritating, desperately plea. Maybe I should rest when I get down there.
And listen to Groose bully him about not being a man? Or get harassed by the old lady for not doing his duty? Or make Zelda wait a second longer than she had to?
What if she doesn’t actually feel or hear anything? What if you can actually take the time you need?
He… he couldn’t dare to hope, could he? He was so tired. Just… just maybe one full night’s sleep, when the sun set. Maybe just one. Just one.
“A report, Master,” Fi chimed in his mind, catching him off guard. “An unusual phenomenon is taking place in Faron Woods, making it impossible to descend directly into them at the moment.”
Of freaking course it is, he thought irritably. What new obstacle was in his—
Oh wow.
What should have been green as far as the eye could see was now heavily overcome with brilliant blue, reminding him of the old Lanayru Sea. Where had all that water come from??
Link directed his body where Fi indicated to land by the Sealed Grounds, and he pulled out his sailcloth at the last moment, nearly missing that he was about to slam into the ground. He sighed heavily, rubbing his face. Maybe he wouldn’t even be able to access Faron at the moment, and he could get some sl—
Groose rushed for him, eyes wide and face pale, and Link immediately knew sleep was not going to be an option.
“Link, bad news!” he called, waving his arms before screeching to a halt in front of him. The ground shook, dark energy wafting in the air like fog that danced in sadistic delight, and Link’s insides grew cold. “That beast looks like it’s about to break free again!”
Not again! We just did this!!
The Seal was weakening even more, despite hie best efforts, despite Zelda’s efforts.
What if—what if—
“Gotta get into position!” Groose said, fear dissipating as determination carved his face into stone. He truly did look like a knight of Skylfot in that moment. “Hang tight!”
For a brief moment, Link felt his heart stop at the thought of what might have happened if he’d heeded Fi’s advice and stayed up in Skyloft to rest. But now wasn’t the time to ponder it. His body and mind snapped into coordinated clarity as adrenaline surged his system, pushing the exhaustion to the periphery. He followed Groose, body tense and aching, head still pounding. Dark slivers of malice moved higher and higher, polluting the air and making his head hurt even more – he wasn’t sure how Groose wasn’t able to feel so sick as they nearly choked on the demon’s dark energy… was he just growing weak from lack of rest?
It doesn’t matter. I can’t stop!
The earth shook again, nearly knocking Link down to a lower level as he lost his footing. Groose just managed to reach the Groosenator, clinging to it for stability as he yelped, “Whoa! Feels like that seal is going to give way any second!”
The seal, the seal—oh Zelda, what’s happening?! Why is the seal faltering so much? Are you hurting, are you weakening, why is it breaking so much now what if I can’t stop it what if I’m too late—
“Uh… but no need to panic!” Groose continued, and for a second Link thought his own fears were showing on his face, but it seemed his bully-turned-friend was trying to reassure himself as he held onto his device with a white knuckled grip. “You know what the Groosenator can do! As long as I’m at the controls of this bombshell beauty, I don’t even know the meaning of the word defeat!”
The earth quaked again, and Groose braced himself, standing tall and powerful as the sky darkened. Link unsheathed his blade, hearing Fi sing and warm in anticipation, a faint blue glow illuminating the darkening space around them.
Groose nodded to himself, looking Link firmly in the eye. “Flinging bombs on this monster’s face, defending this land… it’s my purpose, I think. It’s why I’m here.”
He seemed so certain all of a sudden, like a hero of legend himself. For the first time, Link wondered if perhaps Hylia should have chosen Groose instead. Nothing seems to have deterred him. Link tried to lean on that certainty as well, and as he glanced back at the Sealed Temple, his own fire rekindled within him. He straightened his back, growing tense as the world shook again, a distant roar echoing in his mind.
“Anyway, Link, I’ve got work to do,” Groose announced, waving a hand and smirking. “Try not to get in the way of my shots, okay?”
Link nodded, moving off the platform and looking down at the seal itself. It was glowing blood red, a vibrant reflection of the darker hue the sky had taken. Crimson and purple in hues darker than timeshift crystals rose like smoke from a fire, sparks emanating from them and freezing the space around them. Link felt himself shiver, but he gritted his teeth, ignoring the way the icy dark magic tried to stab through his skin like hundreds of tiny needles.
He wasn’t going to wait for that monster to tear through the ground. He would face it head on. Maybe if he caught it early enough, he could banish it once more before it could even start climbing.
He felt a little more confident now that Groose was well practiced on the matter. His classmate’s confidence seeped into him, warming his already steely resolve like pumpkin soup on a chilly day.
Link leapt off the cliff, making his way to the bottom. The closer he got, the colder it got, an ominous, otherworldly feeling making every hair on his body stand up, his instincts screaming for him to turn away. It left him a little unsettled – fear had been his companion on each confrontation, but it had never felt so visceral, as if every fiber of his being was repulsed by the beast within.
He didn’t have much time to ponder the matter any further as the seal shone brightly before being completely drowned in dark energy. It pulsed all around Link, seeming to try and steal the breath from his lungs, paralyzing his body, and he took a hasty step back to ready himself, shivering horribly.
Massive arms tore from the earth, throwing Link even farther back and slamming him into the gorge’s wall. He remembered that the last time, the strangely egg shaped, black scaled monstrosity had grown more limbs, long muscular arms with claws sharper than Crimson’s talons, body more stretched to be more proportional, and a tail starting to peek out from behind. It crawled like the little creatures Link had seen in the desert, looking almost like a lizalfos crawling on all fours as it tried to climb its way to the Sealed Temple.
It was far worse now.
The Imprisoned was massive. Its body was far more elongated now, tail evident and whipping around to beat Link into a pulp as dark flames burned endlessly from its spine. Its black scales snaked around its entire body except for its underbelly, which looked like it was carved of pure stone instead of the thick skin that it had to be. Alongside its multiple rows of razor sharp teeth, it now had massive lower incisors sprouting out of its mouth and above its head, like horns that it would use to skewer him. It moved faster than ever, immediately making its way up the cliffside.
“Link! Let’s do this!” Groose shouted loudly from the top. “Our game plan is the same as last time! You know what to do!”
Link frantically ran towards the nearest air geyser just as Groose launched a bomb towards the beast, and as it made contact with the monster’s head, Link brought his blade down on its feet to slow it down like before. The Master Sword glowed blue, its magic making it burn through the beast’s scales on its feet and drawing black blood. The Imprisoned roared and whipped its tail to take him out. Weeks, maybe even months of fighting lizalfos helped him to dodge in time, slamming his body to the ground before he could get completely pummeled. He rose quickly as Groose hurled another bomb their way, but this time he was too slow.
The shock of the blast sent both him and the Imprisoned stumbling. He heard Groose cry out, but he could hardly register it. Fi chimed seemingly frantically to get his attention as the Imprisoned began to climb shakily. He managed to reach its other foot before it could lift off the ground, dodging around the dark energy emanating from the being as it tried to sap him of his strength. A spin attack assisted him in crippling the beast, making it stumble back before falling to the ground with such an earth shattering force that Link fell off the cliffside to the bottom once more. He quickly recovered, using the geyser to return to the Imprisoned and strike at its sealing spike.
He could do this, he could do this. It was going well so far, and—
The Imprisoned roared, freezing Link, and a dark halo suddenly appeared around its head like a sacrilegious crown, and then the beast started floating upward.
“WHOA!” Groose bellowed. “Since when did it learn how to fly?!”
Link stared in horror, trying to rush for the Imprisoned’s tail to latch on, but its dark magic repelled him, making the world spin dizzyingly as he got knocked flat on his back, heart racing.
“It’s headed straight for the temple!” Groose yelled. “But there’s no way I’m letting it get there! Big ugly’s going down burning!”
Link blinked blearily, trying to reorient himself, Fi’s earlier warning screaming in his addled mind, there is a 78% chance furthering your journey in your current state could lead to serious damage.
The only damage he cared about was to Zelda, he could handle—could handle��
The world faded for a terrifying moment, and Link jolted awake a second later, heart racing faster than any monster could evoke. The sound of a bomb exploding and the deep, throaty, ear splitting roar of the Imprisoned tore through his mind next, nearly blowing out his hearing.
The beast fell from the sky, flopping on its side, tail halfway covering the trail down to the bottom, feet still bleeding, halo missing. Link gritted his teeth, leaping off and disregarding the sailcloth entirely, landing on the beast and feeling his feet burn as he slid to the ground near its throat. He reached the spike in seconds, ignoring how he limped, and beat the thing back into the monster’s skull once more. His arm shivered from the exertion, feeling every bit of the strikes against pure, mystical stone, and the Imprisoned roared in protest, writhing in agony and making Link run for the nearest corner to avoid getting hit.
As he watched the beast fight against the sealing spike once more, precious item out of his reach, he heard Groose yell in panic.
“Not good! The road crumbled, and I can’t get to the rest of my bomb stash!” he heard Groose shout, and Link felt his blood freeze. What were they going to—“Link! Come up to the temple, and make your way over here! Hustle up!!”
Link shook his head, shoulder screaming in protest, and rushed to the nearest geyser as the Imprisoned quickly recovered its strength. He nearly lost his grip a couple times on his sailcloth, but he made it up top quickly enough to feel his heart stop as the Imprisoned was nearly at eye level with him. Without a second thought, he leapt into the cannon, about to order Groose to fire him when his friend already spoke the words he was thinking.
Nodding in resolve, he let Groose guide the machine and then his world lurched as he was tossed. He tensed with the movement, pushing off the catapult to give himself even more momentum, sword at the ready as he landed on the beast’s skull.
Immediately, its dark energy started to slink around him, black flames lapping at his clothes, paradoxically freezing, tensing every muscle in his body. He pushed through, slamming his blade down on the sealing spike, and he threw enough momentum into it that the stone sank all the way into its skull.
The Imprisoned roared, and the ground beneath Link vanished as it plummeted to the pit faster than him. He fumbled with his sailcloth, pulling it out with enough time to not get himself killed, but not sparing him the hard impact of such a rushed landing. He groaned as his legs gave out, one feeling it had nearly snapped, and aimed his sword skyward as he propped himself up from the ground with one arm.
Fi sang, glowing with holy energy, and Link made the sealing motions.
And just like that, it was over.
Relief flooded Link so utterly that he collapsed, body screaming, incapable of catching his breath.
He wasn’t sure what happened after that, honestly. All he knew was that suddenly he was in the Sealed Temple.
Blinking in confusion, he tried to sit himself up and hissed as his right shoulder gave on, slamming his head on a pillow.
A pillow?
“Link!” Groose rushed into his sight, looking worried. “Buddy, drink this!”
Drink wha—
Link coughed as a bottle was shoved into his face and he nearly choked on the red liquid that poured into his mouth. He swallowed most of it, some dribbling out of his mouth while his lungs violently shoved the rest out. He felt Groose sit him up with a hasty apology.
Immediately, warm relief flooded him, easing the ache in his shoulder, the screaming in his leg, the headache pounding behind his eyes. Every ounce of his strength, however, was still gone.
Groose huffed, shifting from worried to his usual boisterous self. “You had me worried! What happened out there? Was it the Groosenator? It’s not like we haven’t shot ourselves in the air like that, did that big ugly monster poison you or something?”
“He’s clearly exhausted,” the old woman noted from somewhere in the distance. “Let him rest, Groose.”
Groose paused, his concern becoming gentler, and he quietly eased Link back onto the makeshift bed.
Honestly, the smaller Skyloftian couldn’t protest. His mind was too blank, soul heavy and completely overcome by his body’s feeble state.
How long had he gone without sleep? And how long had he gone without getting more than a couple hours at a time?
It didn’t matter! At this rate, the Imprisoned would come back so often he wouldn’t even be able to leave the Sealed Grounds!
“Link.”
Link turned his head to look over at the old woman as she approached. Although he couldn’t really see her eyes, the gentleness in her tone mixed with her more-shriveled-than-usual posture painted a… strangely solemn picture.
“Let yourself rest, boy,” she encouraged quietly. “You will not be able to help Zelda if you collapse.”
You were late.
She’s waiting for you.
The demon king is getting stronger.
Link tried to protest. He couldn’t make a sound.
Master, Fi said softly in his head, filling the fog with her song. There is a 97% probability that you will be unable to make it to the entrance of the Sealed Temple, let alone any farther than that. I highly recommend following their advice and recovering your strength.
97% meant there was still a 3% chance he could do it. But he… knew it was pointless to try.
Link hated himself for needing this. Hated himself for being so weak, so feeble, so mortal when what Hylia clearly expected was a god. How else was he supposed to fight a god of destruction?
He squeezed his eyes shut, frustrated, ignoring the tears that tried to escape. He didn’t care if he was just a student from Skyloft. He would save Zelda. Nothing would stop him.
But… he would resume in the morning. He could spare no further time for himself than that. Not at the rate the seal was deteriorating.
Zelda’s sacrifice would not be in vain.
He heard Groose speaking quietly to the old woman, something about gathering supplies for Link. He felt his heart warm a little at the notion of it, at the thought that he wasn’t alone in this. He was suddenly very thankful for Groose, no matter the history they had.
Link closed his eyes, and he finally let himself rest. But when his anxieties woke him that evening, he refused the demands Groose made that he continued to sleep. Instead, he was briefed on the situation happening in Faron Woods, and his friend reluctantly agreed to help him get inside the newly flooded region.
As Link flew through the air, preparing to hit the crystal clear waters, he let the wind whip his face and awaken him once more. He would sleep when Zelda was safe. He’d gone through the Silent Realms. He had Din’s strength to help him, Farore’s courage to maintain his resolve, Nayru’s wisdom to guide him.
He was ready. It was time to finish this.
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